#of my hypothetical oops baby
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firelord-frowny · 5 months ago
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i swear lmao like
if i ever get knocked by somebody i don't actually want to be with, imma have to either get an abortion, or murder the father bc i CANNOTTTTTTT co parent with someone i dont care to be around lmao it could never be meeeeeeeeeeee!!!
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sanchoyo · 2 years ago
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well talking to my mom went well (I just told her I’m really unsure rn. Her first response was ‘oh well what’s the rush, ur not dating rn are u?’ Which. What does that have to do with gender??? It made me stop and laugh at least lmao). Also she suggested I just keep the clothes in a box or smth for a month or two so that if I change my mind abt dresses and skirts I don’t throw them out and regret it. Which was an awesome suggestion bc quite frankly I’m very emotionally attached to my clothes. A lot of the dresses are real vintage or actually worth a lot too and very unique and…a part of me wants to try and rework them and sew them into either shirts or pants bc they’d fuck severely but 1. I don’t have a sewing machine 2. I…feel weird about modifying such old clothes. It feels kind of bad…like what if I fuck them up bc lack of sewing experience!! I’ve only rly done basic mending (…and I guess that Ichigo cosplay years ago but even that didn’t turn out great bc it was my first project. aaa)
#sanchoyorambles#this post is 90% anxiety oops#also what if I am a dude. and I have to tell my dad. nightmarish#coming out to him was hard enough the first time 😭 it’s so awkwardddd#….I kind of want to look into t but I’m broke and also scared of needles#am I …a guy….??#I don’t know. we r looking into it. 🫣#fuck I already didn’t like my name so much so I’ve been playing w the idea of legally changing it for a year or so anyway#I….might be looking at baby names websites#fuck. fuck I just changed my art blog insta YouTube AND neocities to lynnscribbles tho!!!! the fucking work to change everything I swear#rolls around in agony#Lynn is neutral enough maybe 😭#I knowwww doing it legally cost money tooooo 💀 can things be free for me bc I’m swag. or .#like ofc these are all hypotheticals but umm. hm#🫣……🕴️#if…I do end up being a guy it’ll still be in a pretty fem way like let’s be real#my level of whimsy won’t change . I will be masc like ken from barbie. or like rococo dandies . etc. still pretty pastel an frilly#…so still gnc…ashsjfkckn#again I’m still not entirely sure I’m just testing things out. in the gender trying room so to speak#I AM confused a bit bc I thought I was a lesbian but really how much I love women is my only tie to lesbianism#so I might think abt that label too which feels bittersweet#I love the flag I have it on several jackets as pins and patches!!!#closest second label might just be queer but I dunno …will need to reflect#if it doesn’t fit anymore after I think on it I’ll Marie Kondo it and thank it for its time before replacing it I guess 😭
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yougavemeyourheartyouknow · 8 months ago
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More baby daddy Miguel thoughts
Him being reminded of how over the moon he was when Gabi was first born whenever he cradles Gabi’s lil baby sibling. Sometimes he’d cry from how grateful he was that you didn’t end up with Henry
Ughhhh😭🫶🏼😩
“Okay babe, I finally got Gabi to go to sleep-“ The rest of your sentence got stuck in your throat as you finally walk into your shared bedroom. Concern overtaking your features at the sight you were greeted with, your husband holding your now sleeping baby against his chest, quietly sniffling and the barely audible sound of him patting their back. Even with only the night light being the only thing keeping the room from flooding in darkness, you could still make out his red eyes and drying tears as he rested his forehead on the crown of the baby’s head. You quickly make your way over to comfort him without a second thought.
“Amor, honey what’s wrong?” Your voice was gentle as you placed a hand on his shoulder, Miguel’s eyes make quick work to find yours, and another tear escapes before he can even open his mouth to speak. You wiped it away as quickly as it appeared.
“Dios Mio… I don’t know how I got so lucky…” he confessed in a slightly shaky tone, as if for emphasis, he held his new bundle of joy a bit closer to his chest. You couldn’t help but let your lips twitch upwards, both your hands coming up to hold his face. He turned his head slightly to plant a kiss on your palm before continuing. “It was only a few years ago that you were dating that … Henry guy. Life could be so different, you could have stayed with him, we could have never gotten back together, we wouldn’t be married, we wouldn’t have had another kid-“ (my god)
“But we did.” You remind him, a hand going up to sooth him further by running through his hair. “And that’s all that matters Mig, none of those hypotheticals are important, because they didn’t happen, and they won’t happen .” You grabbed the sleeping new born and place them in their crib, before grabbing Miguel’s hand and tugging him towards your bed. “Now stop overthinking and let’s get some sleep before they wake up.” You whispered with a giggle.
Miguel couldn’t help but smile at your attempt to get him in bed, but he complied nonetheless, pulling you into his arms once your bodies both touch the bed, placing a kiss on your temple while whispering an “I love you.” before you whispered an “I love you too.”
Oops I did it again- (dude note I wrote this in like 3 minutes so sorry if it’s not good)
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tacky-optic · 4 months ago
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The agony of being able to go through an entire tumblr tag from start to finish.... ANYWAY. we're back with more food for the hat trick niche ft. rare JigZeni pachislot (zeni acknowledges jigen for 0.1 seconds and jigen forgot he was there even tho he's driving)
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One thing I like about rarepairs is the flexibility. They're a headcanon/hypothetical breeding ground of potential without having to sacrifice too much of the character's integrity, because they rarely ever talk/barely have a relationship to launchpad off of! yaay :'D
So let's talk about how! Five how's, actually. Might've gotten a bit carried away with this one.
As with anything involving these two, somehow, some way, it always circles right back around to Lupin. It kind of has to, given their shared obsession and/or dedication with the guy. But that can split up into all sorts of scenarios, with some equally varied results (and some exceptions!)
~ Getting together in spite of Lupin
In which Lupin's basically that "I messed up so bad that I turned my girl date gay/my guy date straight" joke but everyone's still queer and it's just his partner hooking up with his rival because of how much he's been frustrating them both lately (and oops the proxy hate sex turns out to be really good) INHALES. Does that even make any sense.
I'm sorry but Lupin fumbling the ball is just so funny to me. It is a bit deeper than that, obviously, and this'd have some weird love triangle logistics because Jigen and Zenigata are still hopelessly in love with Lupin, in their own ways. But dipping into that is always complicated and messy-- JUST HOW WE LIKE IT.
This one definitely has the most jealousy on all fronts. For me, there's always this little asterisk on the JigLup/LuZeni pairings because someone's getting left out. Tell me Zenigata's chest wouldn't ache every time he watches Lupin and Jigen escape, an arm slung over the other's shoulder, cheek to cheek, laughs fading off into the cold, lonely night. Tell me Jigen wouldn't hate waiting in the Fiat for Lupin to lose his dogged hunter, mind wandering as to why he's taking so damn long. He grits his jaw when Lupin finally saunters up, victoriously spinning yet another pair of handcuffs on his pointer finger.
There's a silent rivalry for Lupin's attention that they might not even realize is going on until they blow up at each other about it.
It's difficult to tell if Lupin is being genuine or just messing around, especially for Zenigata. He asks Jigen how he deals with him, how he deals with.... everything. Just everything. The "will they won't they"s and the "does he really mean it"s. How does he stay so collected all the damn time. Jigen says he doesn't have a single friggin' clue. Maybe they make out sloppy style about it. Maybe they keep meeting up to vent, drink, exist in each other's company. During chases, Zenigata keeps dipping after Jigen instead of Lupin more and more often. Lupin's standing on a rooftop Pulp Fiction John Travolta style wondering where the fuck everyone went.
Ohhh jealous Lupin, where have you gone. Where did the tms writers hide your unchecked narcissistic ego. The other points after this support Supportive Lupin in some capacity but this one does not. The slow-burn's done slow-burning but it ain't over yet, baby. There's trouble in paradise and its name is Lupin the Third. He is Not Enjoying This. The two guys that are always looking at him aren't looking at him anymore and that just won't do. Drama ensues.
~ Getting together because of Lupin
Matchmaker Lupin! This is if Lupin's relationships with Jigen and/or Zenigata are more platonic-leaning (which is totally valid). The paired fics in Disreputable Company nail this dynamic perfectly imo. But as far as my own separate take goes....
They're both just so. So emotionally constipated. Intentionally or not, Jigen's been screwed over in the romantic interest department to many times that he's intentionally reduced his acquaintance list to how many fingers he's got on his right hand. Zenigata practically unloaded an entire clip into his foot as far as maintaining healthy family/friend relationships go. Spoilers for Zenigata Keibu, but he 100% knew what he was saying when he told Haruka he'd go back to her once he caught Lupin (I can never be yours), and that Zenigata's supposed to be the freest one! Bound not necessarily to Lupin specifically, but to The Chase forever.
Anyway. Jigen and Zenigata are Isolated. The fact that someone would consider them attractive is so foreign that they'd think its some kind of sick joke or ruse to screw them over instead of anything that could ever be even remotely genuine. They need someone to shove them out of their little self-made paranoia bubbles, and Lupin just loves to meddle in people's businesses. I dunno. I just think he'd think it's funny.
*dramatic finger point* "haha zenigata, you are banging my partner!!" "you... you tricked us into our first date? made the reservations?? th- the tailored suits???" "lu you friggin roller-skated out in a waiter outfit and immediately bought us the most expensive top-shelf booze they offered. not even remotely conspicuous about it" "lol yeah. good times"
He's just happy two of his favorite humans are finally getting laid for once, y'know?
~ Getting together for Lupin
Jigen and Zenigata are forced to team up. Okay, this scenario only goes down if 1) Lupin goes missing or is KO'd for a prolonged period of time or 2) the Truce demands they separate for a while. On top of seeing this play out in other fics, my good friend duke and I have been messing around with (a variant of) this idea for a while now (aka they've been letting me run around in their au Rampant and Unchecked. ty duke).
In ""canon"", if these two were to become at the very least amicable towards each other, this'd be the way to do it. In all honesty (and my personal bias for them aside), I'm genuinely shocked they haven't done this before. Not even an episode, tms? That 4-ish minute block in POTP is all you're giving me? One bar chat in the kobayashi sendoff ep. Okay. I'm not miffed i swear
Like I mentioned in this previous post, the idea of the two of them being able to function together without Lupin as a crutch is upsetting at first. They're used to following him to the Ends of the Earth and they're used to him living rent-free in their heads. They've convinced themselves that they're hopeless on their own, that if he disappeared for good they'd just go back to being two husks vaguely shaped like humans meandering around with no meaningful north star to head towards. Don't get me wrong, if the situation was Bad, Goemon and Fujiko would be devastated, too. But they could move on, albeit with a heavy heart. They're kind of known for heading out on their own should the situation call for it. But Jigen and Zenigata are in for the long-haul for better or for worse, whether they like it or not (they do not).
They're on edge the whole time. Hostile towards each other and passive-aggressive at best to any unfortunate folk they have to interact with on this stupid side quest they've been unwillingly shunted onto together.
It helps immensely that they're both "cut that out" people to anyone but themselves, because they can be that for each other. There's a lot of bickering/conflicts of interest and methodology. "You're being too harsh", "You're one to talk", "You're so goddamn stubborn", "You're such a hypocrite", etc etc. But holy shit they're so freakishly effective together, to a frankly terrifying degree-- maybe even moreso than with Lupin because they're honing the fuck in and nothing else-- no banter or bullshit-- and that's what gets them through to the end. Maybe it helps them come to terms with whatever sort of issues they've got going on, maybe it doesn't. Bare minimum, they come out of this with newfound understanding of each other. At max, uh.... see the point after this next one.
~ Lupin-adjacent
A shift in fixation. The slightest glance, the slightest exchange of eye contact for a second too long, the briefest moment of consideration, and the thoughts start spiraling. This is "in spite of Lupin" without the spite. The urge to know absolutely everything about someone, down to the marrow, just gets shifted a little bit to the right onto another guy. It's just them, in-between heists, with barely any mention of the Chase and anyone else involved therein. Their own little adventure away from the status quo. It's weird at first, sure, but it's new and exciting and real dang nice having things not revolve exclusively around him for once. It's a shot for Jigen to mess with Zenigata for once and the closest thing to a willing vacation Zenigata can get. Win-win! Well. Sorta.
The loneliness, though-- that's what makes itself most prevalent during the in-between times. They really don't have much left outside of the Usual. Forgetting the bare essentials, days blending together, moving around the masses like a ghost.... it's familiar, and it's common, not being sure whether they actually like someone or they're just desperately lonely. Zenigata wallows in it, Jigen shoves it down. They've got images to keep. but getting noticed for what they are is simultaneously the worst thing to ever happen and the highlight of their day. Real wholesome bonding material, ain't it
"I tracked you down for only you". "I dragged you into this issue because I want you here". "You get it".
~ Secret fifth thing
*points at playbohz mag* "lol wouldn't it be funny if zenigata was jigen's type??" *points at y series, miyazaki's zeni, island of assassins, that one manga where they put him in a tshirt, etc* "oh my god zenigata is jigen's type."
It's just a one-night stand lmao. I feel like I see this one a fair bit too, mostly because it's super duper simple and doesn't require a crap-ton of emotional angst setup just to get them into the same bed. It's the above point diluted into, like, an afternoon lmao. It doesn't have a lot of depth by design. Curiosity gets the better of both of them, plain and simple. They get buzzed enough at a bar, skip off to some motel to do what they gotta do one time and never speak of it again.
A part of me likes that, but another part of me in the deep deep recesses of my psyche is hollering "TACKY YOU GOTTA TURN THIS INTO THE SPITE BULLETPOINT!!!"
NO. For this one they get one nice hookup and THAT'S THAT. Sorry not sorry.
Maybe it's easier because there's actually something to decipher. There isn't some esoteric idea of "Lupin the Third, Gentleman Thief"; a mystery man(?) with a million little gadgets and masks and smiles; this unwavering, unpredictable force of chaos that likes taking shiny things from one place and hiding them somewhere else over and over again with no real rhyme or reason.
It's easier to find solace in turning to the guy next to you and going, "what do you think that is?" than in going up to "that" and poking it with a stick in hopes it'll give some sort of answer. "That" won't. "That" likes watching you guys flounder around together too much :)
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o0o0thorn0o0o · 10 months ago
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New year, new OC. Well, to most of you, anyway.
No, I did not forget Karma and Gakushuu’s birthdays (though, I wouldn’t blame you if you thought I did). For Karma, I missed it ‘cause… well, I explained it in my last post; it’s there. So then I thought this was a perfect opportunity to make a brothers post, give him a late b-day piece, especially since if I were to pick one of the birthdays, I prefer January 1st (though, twins (and triplets, too, but, er, we’ll get to that very soon) don’t have to be born on the same day, so he could still be born on Christmas… details, details). And then, because I’ve been mulling over introducing her for a while, I decided to make it into a triplets post and introduce you to my OC Mineko.
She’s made a cameo before though; I don’t know if you remember. It was in a Kuniko piece.
I originally meant to introduce her in a fanfic first, but, uh… dunno when that’ll be written ^^; (I’ll get to it one day, but it’s not seeming anytime soon). Made her a few years ago because I really like seeing people give Gakushuu or Karma a sister, and since I’m obsessed with brothers’ AUs, why not hit two birds with one stone? Though, she only came into proper fruition when I got the fic idea. But yeah, decided to introduce her now, since January 1st is definitely her birthday, regardless of Karma’s (she’s the middle triplet. Gakushuu’s still the baby brother, haha). That was the plan, anyway, considering January 1st was yesterday… Oops.
But yeah, a belated happy birthday to Gakushuu (and Mineko), and a very belated happy birthday to Karma (One year, I’ll be on time for both 😤).
I’ll post some old sketches of her in a few days from now (to pad out some time for my next post; dunno when I’ll get something new out), and I’ll talk a bit more about her then, too, so you have some info on her and she’s not just a blank slate until I get her character sheet done (I am working on those, trust me… just, the art rut paused the process). But yeah, kinda wanna talk about the piece for a bit.
Since I’m dealing with 3, Neapolitan flavors were an easy idea to come to. So they’re having a little sibling outing on their birthday, eating little cakes. Obviously don’t have to explain Karma’s choice of flavor, but I kinda wanna explain Shuu’s. See, when I was a kid, I vividly remember seeing vanilla being referred to as the king of ice cream flavors, but when I looked it up years down the line, I couldn’t really find anything justifying my memory :/ But I’m pairing Shuu with vanilla because of that title my little kid brain may or may not have made up. I mean, why wouldn’t he want the (hypothetical) king of all flavors? And then Mineko gets chocolate by process of elimination. She wouldn’t really have a preference between those three flavors.
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toiadeenovels · 3 months ago
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18+ Minors DNI
The Conversation
Ummm best friend I.. gotta.. yea... I, that's right I need to let you in on a lil secret. I'm wanting you I have been for a long time. Your sun kissed, sexy, deep-toned skin like the darkest of chocolate glistening in the reflection of the moonlight. With a tall frame and muscular physique making my mouth water. I can't help imagining the things that you would do to me; all the many different positions that you would maneuver my limbs in.
Damn... It's like you got my mind consumed with thoughts of you. Fantasizing about you and I in every way imaginable. The messed up part is, I don't remember when these thoughts began. Yet they've taken over my mind. Hell I can't even remember when I began to look at you differently I. I mean don't get it twisted you have always been aesthetically pleasing to the eye; not on a I want to get with you level. But more like that stroke game could be fun level. However, we've become like this; this somewhere between you being a cool ass friend and me losing my damn mind.
Ha... yeah that's it I lost my damn mind and now I have to find it. I'm not stupid, there's no way that you would think of me on that level... I already know you won't even look at me like that. See I've known my place in your life for a long time. I'm that bony Tomboy from around the way. And yea you've only seen me as 'little mama' I know... But for me we've hypothetically been through this before and that was years ago. But finally I can say I'm a big girl yea, that's right I'm a grown woman now; not that same inexperienced girl from before. I know what it is that I want and baby its you that I want and its not like I'm trying to be your exclusive. I know you wifed up an all that but just make room for me thats all I'm asking for. Shit not even polygamy I don't have to be a wife unless that's what you wanted too.
I just know that you're what I crave, like making my sweet tooth ache. Like I wake up out my sleep cuz I can smell you baking and I can taste you on my tastebuds, like you apart of a feast spread out before me. Ha.. I'm losing it for real. I really have lost my damn mind.   You got me gone... so gone (this shit is so unreal) like Monica singing the song but except its my reality.
I shake my head tryna clear my mind but I soon realize that it's too late. Because my hand snakes down into my Agent Provocateur. My fingers caressing and massaging my pearl feeling like Tweet oops oh my... (sh...shh..shi..sshit babe fuck huh) See what I'm talking about, I want you to understand.  This is what you do to me.
Like right now, As we're out getting frozen yogurt and I'm paying just a lil to close attention to the way your tongue is licking around that spoon. I'm glued watching as you suck up every drop of flavor, wondering did you get it all. I'm so damned focus, going through all these changes fuuck....  and you're asking me if I'm okay... Um... no Best Friend. I'm not okay and you know why? Cause I want to study your anatomy very closely as if i was taking classes at the nearest university and needed the credits to graduate.
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goingtochurch · 1 year ago
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THE EARTHSPARK REVIEW NO ONE ASKED FOR EP:13 "Missed Connection"
This one's my favorite. Head's up. This might be long.
AW THEY PRETENDING TO HAVE ALT MODES THATS SO CUTE
BEE AND ALEX HANGING OUT
"where's-" *explosion*
sounds about right
dramatic af nightshade thank you stellar performance
"the first 5006 tried to destroy me"
THE H A N D F L I P
ew the outdoors
GOD I FEEL TH A T
dot comin in clutch with the mom advice
Alex is too relatable
SCIENCE FICTION?????
I got roasted during the binge with My Binging Buddy because I had a doubt that Alex Malto was autistic in some capacity...i think the roasting was warranted
an additional quote from my third watch through with him for talking about the previous roast "Its like asking if water is wet"
Laying on the table in true Neurodivergent fashion Nightshade
CASUALLY DOXXES AN AUTHOR?????
ah yes go into the creepy woods
oh glowing foreshadowing object
HOLOFORMS CANON HECK YEAH
nightshade followed the weird flying contraption INTO A CRYPT
very smart nightshade thank u
TARANTUALASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
HES SO NICE SOUNDING OMG
oop realizing stereotypes are wrong
how tf did nightshade know that would project all of t h a t
"...missed connection" ROLL CREDITS
the other siblings desperately trying to fix the smart trainer is so cute
equally cute that nightshade is still enthused cause they kinda helped
i love the way tarantulas moves
"ILL PREPARE THE WORKSTATION" OMG NIGHTSHADE MY HEART
tarantulas sounds so h u r t
alt modes as a form of expression is amazing
"it is a gift to know yourself so young..." omg
MONTAGE TIME MONTAGE TIME
THE FUCKING B O W
d o r k
i like the detail that it covers the decepticon symbol
tarantulas wants nightshade to be safe aA
i like this mentor protégé thing
another "hypothetically if i meet a decepticon" conversation
tarantulas no
tARANTULAS D O N T
dang it
NIGHTSHADE ITS OKAY
TARANTULAS P L E A S E
dot is a badass in every situation
The clear fear from cybertronians for something ghost is doing is a nice detail
MEMORY DELETION TECH CONFIRMATION
no nightshade yOU DONT NEED TO APOLOGIZE
THE MISCOMMUNICATION
SOMEONE JUST S A Y SOMETHIN
tarantulas is actually terrifying sometimes
YEAHHHHHHH OWL ALT MODE FANTASTIC
"I WAS NEVER LOST" YEAH NIGHTSHADE GET EM BABY
that took the other maltos a minute
the realization from tarantulas that they are running too
TARANTULAS ALLY MOMENT
NIGHTSHADE GOT SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTOOD THEM ONLY FOR THEM TO BE HUNTED DOWN UGH
i want more tarantulas that is all
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mypoisonedvine · 1 year ago
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reblog, sequel, delete: Starstruck, Under Your Spell, and Happy Little Pill
(I first found your blog through your Daniel Brühl fics, your Tonda one specifically, so I thought I'd only pick those. Tonda, btw, is so underrated; that fic was a blessing)
IMPOSSIBLE CHOICE OMFG I could never delete any of those 😭😭
okay but for real, I'm gonna do my best. I love all of these though.
(reminder of the rules: this is my version of 'fuck marry kill’ but for fics! send me three of my fic titles and I have to decide which one I’d reblog to promote, which one I’d write a sequel to, and which one I’d delete hypothetically. not doing any random sequels and definitely not deleting an old fic haha it’s just about which one has room for a sequel and which one doesn’t!)
starstruck is definitely pretty cheesy in retrospect, it was more indulgent than realistic, but then again what's realistic here on my poisoned vine dot tumblr dot com? I wrote it all in one VERY LONG sitting and it's hard to imagine letting that burst of inspiration go to waste by deleting it HOWEVER... it's probably my least favorite of all the three and the least in need of a sequel IM SORRY STARSTRUCK MY BELOVED I SHOULDVE SPLIT YOU INTO PARTS AND MADE YOU A SERIES TO MILK YOU FOR NOTES...
under your spell, man I almost forgot about that one, it's such a unique kink and tonda is a nasty little rat boy that I had lots of fun making up a personality for. I think this one is the easiest to write a sequel to, I'm not sure what it would be but it could maybe have the reader getting pregnant? tonda getting a little softer when he trusts her not to leave? or maybe the other boys getting too handsy and tonda and reader having some possessive, exhibitionist fucknasty smut... options, that's what I mean, there are options.
so I think I'll reblog happy little pill and reminisce about when I made THE sweetest baby boy into a fucking abusive incel turd, lol what a time, I really wanna write somno/drugging kink again! (maybe someone could request it tonight if they wanted oop)
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mmmairon · 2 years ago
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Happy New Year!
This is the anon from a while back who sent the ask about school, how I hated my undergrad years, and all that jazz. It actually took a while to work up the courage to send that ask because I was so worried I would bother you, but if it helped you even a little it was well worth the effort it took me to send it! I really empathize with your situation, being forced into school. I also feel like I was forced to go to college when I would have been better off in a trade school, haha. I wish someone had been there to assure me that it was all going to be okay. As someone who's been there, honestly the most comforting thought to me is that once school is over, you never have to do it again!
I also totally get why you would feel bad complaining about your workload, but never feel guilty about that! Students are (hypothetically) given the same amount of schoolwork, but that doesn't account for what's going on in the students' lives. Some students just don't excel at school the way others do, and some students have extremely busy non-academic lives, or are dealing with personal issues. Most professors have seen enough students to be pretty understanding of that, and people can often be more sympathetic than you'd think. I was really happy to hear that your professor let you do your group project alone.
Anyway, I just wanted to wish you happy holidays and to say that I'm glad you seem to be doing a little better.
ALSO that the wounded Diluc you did from a while ago hit me so good!! I think about him being wounded and alone a lot, my poor baby girl :( I want to put him in my pocket. I hope you draw him is his reddead of the night outfit again!
I hope you did well on your exams! My goats say "Hi!" <3<3<3
world's sweetest anon in the whole world. ugly crying. I'm very sad that school has started again. I can always feel my mood steadily declining as the winter break draws to a close...
I think my workload is going to peak in March. But I also have a condensed course that ends during that time, so that will be really nice ;-;;
I will definitely be drawing Diluc in his new fit again sometime soon :] it's so sexy.. I cannot let it go to waste. Hopefully he's not so sad this time. I have a knack for that being my muse. Oops.
HI GOATS :DD <3333
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disorganisedautodidact · 1 year ago
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“ Also personally I’d seek support if my baby were developing way FASTER - there are times both physical, mental and emotional where something happening too SOON is also a Difficulty (ie the baby i nannied who walked at 8months …. The rest of his manual dexterity/etc did not keep up. So if he lost his balance…. He fell right on his face. Oops. ) “
- yeah - according to my parents, I started the “pulling myself up to stand by holding on to furniture” thing (which comes before learning to stand unsupported) at like, 6 or 7 months, which is a few months earlier than usual. The problem was I hadn’t developed either the grip strength or the understanding of Consequences to actually, you know. Keep holding on to the thing I’d used to pull myself up. Leading to me falling over backwards and hitting my head if my parents weren’t fast enough. Multiple times.
(also I’m not an expert, but developing way faster than usual in some areas can also be a sign of neurodivergence I think? like, speaking in full sentences at a year and a half doesn’t strike me as something that happens a lot in kids who otherwise develop with the exact same needs as their peers, especially if they’re also behind on some developmental markers, like not sleeping through the night at 2 years old. (not a hypothetical example)
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I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has trouble remembering developmental milestones. I put these together, but can’t take credit for any of the photography. Hope someone finds them helpful!
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klondiketales · 10 months ago
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(W.E) I had a question again, it came to me when I was reading the comments under the chapter dies irae, and I saw a comment from you about a bunch of dead children, I thought that if Rocky was not completely biologically male, and really was pregnant, of course, they were the children of his rapist and all that, but I think Rocky was somewhat attached to them, maybe he saw something positive in them in this situation, and he would have been horrified that Calvin kills their children, I think that he would even try to protect them from Calvin, but he would still get hurt from Calvin, and in the end the children would still die, I think that the first murder of the child finally broke Rocky, and something inside him finally died when Calvin decides to have children again, and the cycle repeats itself again, Rocky will try not to get attached to the children, because why? He'll end up killing them anyway, but Rocky still gets attached to the kids, and relives all that pain and suffering all over again, but there won't be a bunch of dead kids, because the second time they have a kid, and Calvin takes a swing at the kid again, Rocky, without any hesitation, rips his throat out, literally, after killing his cousin/kidnapper/rapist/fathers of his children, Rocky somehow crawls out of that hole, along with his child, and leaves that hole, after that, Rocky lives in another city, under a different name, and is raising his child, he completely focused his life on him, because his son is the only thing that supports his life, and sanity, by the way, his son's name is Aiden ... oops, something took me to the wrong place, but if you're interested, the first child's name was Coleman
I always thought that I should’ve (or at least could’ve) made Rocky trans for Dies Irae so that he could actually get pregnant. I mean, I can always make an au where that’s what happened. This is a really good idea. I can see Rocky tearing Freckle’s throat out with his teeth, but I wonder how he would un-chain himself from the wall after Freckle was dead? Maybe he got lucky and Freckle had the key in his pocket.
Poor Rocky. His maternal instincts would make him want to keep the baby alive, and he’d get steadily more and more attached to it, even though the baby is a byproduct of the horrific abuse he was forced to endure at the hands of his own cousin, his once best friend, who he was eventually forced to kill in order to protect not only himself but his innocent offspring too.
You know, having no family, no house, and no money, Rocky was already in an extremely vulnerable position, but now that he has a kid, his position is one hundred times worse. Have you ever seen The Kid by Charlie Chaplin? That’s one of my favorite movies hfhghg. But basically social services came in and took the five-year-old boy away from his father because they were living in tenement conditions, so they accused the dad of abuse and/or neglect, and ripped the kids away from him and tried to put it in an orphanage. And we all know how poorly those orphan children are treated. Rocky would be terrified of losing his son like that (he’s probably heard stories about it happening to other people) so he would use his cleverness and…basically hook up with the first man (or woman) willing to give him a home, provide for him, and keep him and his baby safe and fed. Rocky really needs that now, so if the person (a boyfriend, let’s say) abused him in any way, he would just have to put up with it, for the sake of his child, because after all the trauma he’s been through, and being as sick, injured, and weak as he is, he can’t see another way out.
This hypothetical boyfriend would be extremely controlling and make sure there’s no chance Rocky could ever leave him. Until the boyfriend gets tired of him and kicks him out. Then Rocky would have to move on to the next boyfriend, and the next, and the next, and so on. But he never gives up, he refuses to lose his baby, he’s determined to find a way.
Those are good names! I have to write this au.
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jungkxook · 4 years ago
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—hot boy bummer. (m)
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⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 
⟶ genre: fuckboy!jungkook / friends with benefits / friends to lovers + smut  
⟶ words: 14,633
⟶ rating: 18+ 
⟶ summary: when jungkook offers you a proposition of just sex, no strings attached, how can you possibly say no? after all, what are best friends for?
⟶ warnings: kind of a crack fic, sprinkle of angst, way too casual conversations mid-sex, jealous jungkook, slight himbo jungkook tbh (he’s kind of a sweet loveable idiot), he also has a big dick oops, man bun and blonde jungkook to feed my fantasies!, multiple smut scenes!!!, missionary, dry humping, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, unprotected sex, slight degradation (mostly jungkook hating himself), brief name calling, light choking, sort of praise kink
⟶ note: this was inspired by a number of things but mainly do me by kim petras being on jungkook’s spotify playlist, this tiktok sound, and this tumblr post lol also big thank you to @bratkook​ and @onherwings​ for letting me ramble on about this fic and reigniting my inspo for it 💛
( p.s. i tried to proofread this but if y’all see any typos no u didn’t, thank u <3 )
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Being friends with Jungkook meant a myriad of things but mainly that there were hardly ever any boundaries that stood between you and him.
Having known him for most of your life, it was just a quintessential part of yours and his relationship with one another. From high school parties where you drunkenly spewed on his shoes and in his dad’s car after he tried lugging you home (and taking the fall all himself for your sake) to letting him lose his virginity in your bed to some girl you didn’t know because your parents were out of town and his would crucify him on the spot if they had found out; or him discovering your stash of vibrators in your dorm one day, or seeing each other naked more often than was probably necessary, there was nothing that either of you could do that would phase the other at this point even when it maybe, probably, definitely should.
College, and Jungkook’s sudden six pack of hard rock abs, only seemed to amplify the chaos of your friendship. If you’re being honest, the abs are sort of a plus ━ but they brought an air of fuckboy to him that is undeniably there even if he tries to deny it sometimes. You suppose it isn’t all his fault. Jungkook has always been bold and brash, attractively charming. Considering he’s seemingly made it his mission to sleep with every girl on campus before he graduates (undisclosed, if you’re being honest, because he’s never outwardly admitted it but you have a hunch), his confidence somehow hasn’t failed him yet.
But then there’s one night in which you think to yourself briefly: this surely must draw some sort of line.
“What if we, like, had sex?”
Jungkook says this a little too casually from beside you. He’s sat on the couch in his dorm, scrolling aimlessly on his phone, and you’re sprawled out on the remaining space, feet kicked up in his lap. You’re positive he’s drunk but, then again, so are you. The remnant shot glasses of soju you had both started the night with (though you think Jungkook’s had half the bottle himself), and your second glass of wine, are all evidence of that. You’re so absorbed by some anime Jungkook had been watching upon your arrival and refused to change that you almost don’t hear what he says. Almost. You do, however, nearly choke on the gummy bear you’ve just tossed into your mouth.
After a sudden hysterical fit of coughs, you manage to sputter, “Excuse me?”
“Like, hypothetically speaking.” He hardly budges when you turn to gawk at him, as if he’s asking you something as casual as what to eat for dinner or if you could pass him the T.V. remote. “Except, not really hypothetically.”
“You’re joking, right?” You scoff.
Jungkook blinks. “No. Why would I be joking?”
You blink. The longer you stare at him, the quicker you’re able to discern that there’s some sort of earnesty in his words and it slightly concerns you. Suddenly, you’re warm in the face. To distract from that painfully obvious fact, an incredulous laugh bubbles at your lips and you kick one of your feet at his thighs. “Very funny, Koo. Can we change the show now if you’re not even watching it?”
“I’m not joking, Y/N.” The severity in his tone makes you sit up at once. When you turn to look at him, he flashes you a taunting smirk, though the devious sparkle in his eyes lets you know this seems to be anything but a joke to him. “I’m sure you’ve thought of me naked before.”
“You’re such a fucking idiot━” Okay, so maybe you have thought of him naked before but how is it your fault when you literally have seen him naked before, and he’s so unabashed around you? “Should I bring you to a hospital to get your head checked, or━?”
“Just hear me out━” Now, he pushes himself to the edge of the sofa. “Why are you here right now?”
“In life? Because I honestly have no clue━”
“No, I meant here. Getting drunk in my apartment on a Friday night instead of getting railed.”
“Okay, I didn’t ask to get called out like that,” You grumble stiffly. “And because you’re my best friend, and I like spending time with you.” It’s not entirely a lie, because you would much rather spend time with Jungkook than anyone else. But when you feel his eyes boring into you in a look of scrutiny, your lips form into a pout which you try to hide by puckering them. “Also because boys are stupid and Hoseok’s blind date stood me up. Again.”
The events from hours earlier resurface in your memory, in which you had spent all evening making yourself look pretty for a boy you had only talked to through text that your roommate had introduced you to, only to arrive to the restaurant you were supposed to be meeting at and waiting there for half an hour by yourself before the boy had sent you a message saying something along the lines of “something came up, hope we can reschedule,” filing it under one of the lamest excuses you’ve ever heard because it hardly even borders on a valid excuse. It’s what had ultimately made you storm into Jungkook’s apartment an hour ago, exclaiming aloud as a greeting with a simple yet scarily cheerful I hate men! because Jungkook knows all about your plights with finding a significant other (or even just someone decent enough to open your legs to), usually lamenting men’s inability to have any emotions. Even the ones who you think are respectable enough, who say they’re fine not having sex on the first date, usually tend to flee right after you finally let them in because sex, as you come to find, seems to be all that men care about.
Admittedly, Jungkook is not any different.
“But it’s not like you’re any better.”
This seems to personally offend Jungkook. He looks at you cynically. “Me?”
“Tell me why you’re here with me on a Friday night when you’re literally one of the hottest guys on campus,” You point out. “You can get any girl, and yet you somehow manage to ruin it every single time. Like with Eunha.”
Jungkook winces. The poor Eunha in question is a pretty girl from your chem class, whomst Jungkook had somehow managed to charm. From what you know, they had hooked up a handful of times before that fateful night in which Jungkook had abruptly broken things off with her. If you’re being honest, he’s not a total monster. The only thing that seems to scare him away is when a girl asks to cuddle him in the morning or talks about the prospective future together. He doesn’t want to hurt them, he told you once before, and finds it much easier to nip any potential relationship in the bud before it can get too far, too out of control.
“We literally only slept together three times anyway and we never went out,” Jungkook points out. “What’s the big deal?”
A roll of your eyes doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook. “Yeah, it’s not her fault you’re scared of commitment.”
“Nu’uh,” The boy sulks. “I’m only scared of realistic things, like microwaves.”
A snort bubbles at your lips, and it’s frustrating how adorable he finds the simple action. Rather than entertain the thought of his irrational fear of kitchen appliances (because you’ve heard it all before, and you still can’t find where he was incited with the terror of an exploding microwave), you sit up.
“Jungkook, I don’t even like you like that.”
“I don’t like you like that either. That’s why it’s so perfect!” Jungkook says brightly. “Look, we know each other better than anyone else ever could. We’re already comfortable with each other. We don’t have to go through all that boring small talk. All I’m saying is we could give it a try. No relationship, no emotions, just sex.”
You consider the thought for a moment, weigh the pros and cons in your head.
The cons? He’s your best friend.
The pros? He’s your best friend, and he’s hot.
Truthfully, your slightly buzzed mind can find very little to dissuade you away from the inviting proposition and maybe that’s why you begin to entertain the idea. And, sure, you had just complained profusely about how men sometimes only used you for sex, but it’s not like you don’t have needs too. You just don’t have the gusto in you anymore to spend days on a boy who will only just leave you the moment you let him have sex with you. At least with Jungkook, he’s already offering you a blatant deal of sex only and you know you won’t have to worry about him breaking your heart; and he doesn’t have to worry about the dreaded dreamy post-sex cuddle talk of a future family and babies and a white picket-fence home. It’s a win-win for the both of you, really. Or maybe you’re just telling yourself that.
“How would we even start?” You ask finally. “I mean… Do you even find me attractive enough in that way?”
“Yeah.” Jungkook hardly bats a lash. He meets your stare, licks slowly at his lower lip. When he sees the cross look of disbelief scrunching at your face, he hastens to respond. “I’m not blind. You’re fucking drop dead gorgeous, Y/N.”
“But physically attractive? I’m no hot girl Eunha.”
“If I wanted Eunha, I’d be between her legs right now. Y/N, of course I think you’re attractive.” A gentle sliver of a smile dances upon his lips. He leans his head on the back of the couch, eyes fluttering over your appearance shortly. “I’ve always liked your lips, and your eyes. Think they’re beautiful.”
Suddenly, you’re flustered again. The room feels as if it’s getting increasingly warmer, yet you seem to want to bask in the feeling and attention a little longer. “That’s too sentimental.”
“It’s true though.”
“Well, you’re lucky I’ve always had a thing for idiots,” You jest playfully. “Jerks, too. Playboys who are too hot for their own good.”
“Ah, and I love it when you talk dirty to me.” A cheeky grin tugs at his lips as he clutches at his heart over his chest. “It’s a good thing I like it a little too much, knowing you’ll always keep me in check.”
But then the mirth seems to fade from your mind long enough for you to hum aloud pensively, “And I’ve always liked your eyes. I’ve never seen such big eyes before. Sometimes, if I look long enough, it’s like I can see the stars in them.”
As you’re speaking about them, his irises glisten magnificently. He bites at his lip now, as if to hide the way his soft smile turns sheepish. “I like your bum.”
“Really? I always worry it’s too flat.”
“Are you kidding? Your ass is a fucking god-send. It’s hard not to stare when you wear leggings sometimes,” Jungkook admits, earning a small giggle from you. “And I like your boobs. I’ve always wondered…” He trails off abruptly, shaking his head. He shoots you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?”
“Well, maybe I don’t want you to stop.”
Silence saturates the room now, settling comfortably between the two of you. He wonders what you’re thinking, and you wonder if he can hear your heart hammering against your chest. Perhaps on any other day when you were of sound mind, you could find a plethora of reasons as to why sleeping with your best friend was a terrible idea. But being that you were slightly tipsy, and Jungkook isn’t far off, you can find not one fault, except for maybe how tragically hot Jungkook looks sitting across from you and how he’s never been yours, at least in that way. Would it be so wrong to try just once?
You shift then, pushing yourself to your knees if only so you can worm your way towards him before swinging one leg over his. You settle back on his lap, hands gripping his shoulders. He can feel your core press against the inside of his thigh, just where his dick is nestled and he has to bite back a moan. His eyes are wider than usual, as if believing the moment to be surreal, though something sultry threatens to darken them.
“Y/N…”
The excitement crackles through your veins like electricity. You’ve never been in such a compromising position with Jungkook before, and you wonder if it should be concerning just how much you’re enjoying it. It almost feels as if time slows down, every second dragging on, yet he can’t look away. His hands come to tug at your hoodie (that he’s almost positive was his once upon a time before you nicked it from his closet) and you meet him part way, replacing his efforts as you pull it up and off your body. Then, you’re sitting back on his lap in your full nude glory, chest bare and right in his face. He eyes the swell of your breasts, the perk of your nipples. Of course you’re not wearing anything beneath your hoodie ━ and, god, he loves it.
“Touch me?”
Your voice comes to him in an almost dream. You reach for his hand then, your palm soft around his knuckles and the tattoos that ink his skin. It’s the same hand of which he wears the other half to your pair of friendship bracelets in one of his favourite colours of red, decorated with little pink hearts. It came in a matching set of two (yours in your own favourite colour, currently on the wrist of the hand you’re using to guide Jungkook’s), cute little macrame braid ones with hearts woven into the design that you had pointed out one day while you were both at the mall and he had bought without any hesitation mostly as a joke but resulted in both of you wearing them on a daily basis.
Now, all he can do is continue watching you with bated breath as you guide his hand right where you both want him. He comes to cup the underside of one of your breasts, your hand over his pressing his fingers tighter together until you can feel some sort of pleasant pressure. And, just like that, something feral and needy seems to snap within him. His hand slithers from your grasp if only so he can flick his thumb across your nipple, mesmerized by the softness of it. He’s only ever seen you naked once before and it was fleeting. You were both drunk, skinny dipping in a lake with a handful of other friends, but it had been too dark to notice much else. But now? Now, he can see all of you and the sight strikes a chord right down to his dick.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” Jungkook groans.
“Koo.” The cute little nickname you had given him sounds dirty now as it slips from your lips in a moan. “Too sentimental.”
But Jungkook isn’t listening because you really, really, really are so beautiful. He bows his head to your chest, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. He murmurs something against your chest that sounds akin to, “We can take things slow.”
“Slow…” Your head is spinning, but it’s a delightful sensation. Something hard pokes against your ass now, and the adrenaline only seems to build within you. It’s odd how everything feels so foreign ━ exploring his body and these newfound feelings like the uncharted territory it is ━ yet secure and safe at the same time. As if you know what to do next, where to touch next, how to move, your bodies almost fitting together like pieces to a puzzle. “Y-Yeah, I like that. Can I move?”
“Fuck, yes, please,” he growls. He’s much too busy nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin on your chest, teeth tugging at your nipple.
You hurry to obey, giving a small experimental swivel of your hips that almost immediately has the both of your inhaling a sharp breath of air. His dick strains against his sweatpants, the material doing very little in protecting him against you. Your core throbs as you rub yourself on him.
“Like this?” You rasp.
“Yeah, just like that.” Jungkook’s head rolls back onto the couch, his eyes squeezing shut and his blonde hair spilling into his eyes. He clenches his jaw, the nerves fluttering in the corner, as pure euphoria riddles his features. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anything so sexy. “Fuck, we probably shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Yeah,” You agree, breathless. “Do you wanna stop?”
“No. Do you?”
“No.”
“Thank god.” The sigh of relief that emits from Jungkook startles even him but, in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t register how any of this could be a mistake. “Ah, shit━ Faster━”
“Mmm, Koo━” You whimper as you quicken your pace, the vulgar harbored thought of his dick in you thrilling you to no end.
“Fuuck, I’ve never heard you sound like this before. So needy, so desperate,” Jungkook grunts, his fingers digging into your hips. And it’s all because of him, the way you’re feeling. He’s never wanted to hurry to please you faster, itching to tear you apart if he’ll get to hear those noises from you again and again. “I━”
He’s gonna cum, and he’s not even in your pussy. What’s gotten into him?  
He presses you a little harsher against his dick, sitting up straighter so that his chest is pressed flush against yours. He leans forward, lips chasing after yours, before you pull back just enough sluggishly to press your finger to his mouth.
“Uh uh. No kissing,” You rasp.
The words process in Jungkook’s head, but the weight of them don’t seem to linger in his daze. He’s far too overwhelmed by you and the way you’re making him feel to even begin to try to decipher why you avoid his mouth and so, for now, he doesn’t care. Instead, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, nose nuzzling against your throat. You clutch at his hair, tugging at the roots tight enough for him to moan.
“Nnngh, Jungkook━” You whine. “I’m gonna━ Oh, fuck, Koo━”
And then you’re unravelling, right in his very arms. He holds you close as you tremble and shake, rutting your hips sloppily against his to ride out your high, and Jungkook thinks he can definitely get used to this. The familiar burn forms in his stomach and, without even thinking of it, he comes in the confinements of his pants.
But in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t notice quite a lot of things. Neither do you.
So, maybe you could both find a hundred and one reasons why having sex with your best friend would surely cross some lines, but the thing with you and Jungkook (and what would eventually blossom into a hubristic relationship of sorts) is that it wasn’t just sex. You would always be comfortable around him, as he would be with you. And nothing could ever possibly get weird between the two of you ━ not when you had both made a promise to each other that it wouldn’t get in the way of your friendship.
Because ━ while, yeah, he’s hot and suffers from fuckboy tendencies from time-to-time and, aside from random late night hookups ━ he was still the same boy that would drag you out at three in the morning to drive to the next city over for a bowl of ramen, who would marathon shows as long as One Piece or Game of Thrones with you, watching as much as you can in one all-nighter; who would come to your dorm, no matter the time of day, the moment you said you were sick or suffering from cramps, piled high with your favourite snacks; who shared a repertoire of silly inside jokes with you that never made any sense to anyone but the both of you; who insisted you both wear friendship bracelets even in college. He would always be an angel to you, treat you well, because you meant that much to him.
A small thought in the back of Jungkook’s head wonders, above all else, if you were anyone different, would he have even bothered suggesting such a ludicrous idea, drunk or not?
Because he’s positive no one else could make him cum in his pants like a horny prepubescent teen ━ no one except for you.
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“If we’re really gonna do this, we need to set some ground rules.”
Admittedly, neither you nor Jungkook knew what would happen after Jungkook’s proposition to you. Maybe you were expecting the two of you to pretend as if nothing had ever happened, or laugh it off as something so inconsequential that neither of you should bother worrying about it. Instead, the very next day, you find that you’re back in Jungkook’s dorm. Only this time, you’re in his bed, and he spent the past half hour sufficiently eating you out.
Now, you’ve had an epiphany in the form of Jungkook’s dick, and that is that it’s big.
You’ve seen it before on occasion ━ like when he streaked nude across campus as a dare or when he needed to use your shower because his apartment was under maintenance and he walked out on you in the living room ━ but this is clearly a very different circumstance. All red, swollen, angry tip wet and glistening with precum. You had to brace yourself as he pushed himself into you, cautiously and slowly, enjoying the way you stretch to fit around him. If you had a drunken excuse the night before for loving the thought of getting off with Jungkook, then you surely don’t have one now. It’s a shameless guilty pleasure, you think, that he’s at least indulging in.
“Rules,” Jungkook scoffs now. “You’re such a nerd. Fuck, you feel so fucking good━ You doing okay?”
More than. Your head lolls back against his pillow, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head. “Mhm.”
“Want a minute?”
“Maybe.”
Jungkook pauses without any hesitation, gnawing on his lower lip as your walls clench around him so tightly he feels he might fall apart then and there. His hands are on your hips, thumbs rubbing comforting circles against your burning skin. A few deep breaths later and you’re probing Jungkook to move again. His hips rut into yours at a leisure pace, and he marvels for a moment at the way his dick disappears into your pussy, slick and wet with your own arousal. The thought of being in you ━ of finally feeling your walls wrapped around him, all wet and snug ━ is enough to make him bust then and there, but he refrains miraculously.
“Holy fuck,” You groan. “Why are you so big━”
Your voice cuts off into a delightful whimper, walls aching around him. Jungkook snorts, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. “Nothing sexier than hearing you stroke my ego.”
“Don’t let it get to your already big head,” You retort sluggishly.
“Big head!” he grumbles against your throat, lips brushing faintly against your skin and sending shivers down your spine. “Insult me some more. You know how it gets me going.”
“Oh my god, shut up. Where were we?”
“Rules.”
“Right,” You breathe in a sharp inhale of air as he grinds against your hips. “And rule number one is no kissing. That’s way too intimate.”
Jungkook quirks a brow. “How is kissing more intimate than having my dick in you?”
“It just is.” You refuse to tell him the truth. You poke your fingers at his sides, causing him to jerk against you. “Don’t question it.”
“Fine. Then no sentimental shit in general, like cuddling or pet names,” Jungkook retorts. “And no public displays of affection.”
“Okay,” You nod. “Fuck, Jungkook━”
“God, I love hearing you moan my name,” Jungkook grunts. He watches with fascination the way your face reacts at his every movement. “Too much?”
“No. Kinda hot,” You admit. An abrupt thought pops into your head that has you murmuring hazily, “Oh, and you can’t have sex with me to your sex playlist.”
Jungkook looks appalled. The sex playlist in question is one you’ve heard briefly before, if only because you’ve walked in on Jungkook and his flavour of the month a handful of times one too many times.
“So you’re telling me you don’t want to have the best orgasm of your life to The Weeknd or the Neighbourhood? WAP?” Jungkook asks, wriggling his brows suggestively. “Alanis Morissette?” You have less than half a second to register the 90s pop singer as out of place before Jungkook breaks out into song with a brief rendition of Head over Feet. “You’re my best friend, best friend with benefits━!”
Part of you knows he’s joking, but there’s still a small sliver of you that makes you gawk at him dubiously before dissolving into a fit of unabashed laughter. It rumbles against his chest, vibrates his dick in you. “You’re not serious, are you? That’s not actually in your sex playlist, is it?”
He flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Guess you’ll never know now.”
Another roll of your eyes makes him snicker. He’s gotten used to your snide remarks, but he’ll gladly keep suffering under them if he gets to wipe that taunting smirk off your face each time with the way his dick makes you feel. You cling a little tighter to his shoulders and muse aloud, “So that’s it then?”
“Yeah━” Jungkook knows you’re referring to the rules and your plan, although it’s getting harder to focus on talking as he continues to grind against you. “And nothing has to change between us, even if we stop. We’re still just two best friends.”
“Yup.”
“Who have sex from time to time.”
“Yeah.”
He can’t help himself. He tries again. “Who might kiss.”
“Nope.” You’re smiling even despite the way you shoot him an aggravated stare first.
“We might?”
“No, we definitely won’t.”
Worth a shot, he thinks to himself. At least you really do always keep him in check.
After all, what are best friends for?
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So, maybe a part of you thought the shift in your relationship with Jungkook wouldn’t last very long. A week at most, and maybe Hoseok would find you another pointless let down of a blind date to go on and Jungkook would get horny for some other girl ━ but it’s certainly been more than a week now, and you’ve had sex with him more than two times.
A third, and a fourth, if you’re being blatantly honest, and maybe a few more times after that but you don’t really remember what count you’re both on now which should probably be concerning. Days elapse into days, which turn to weeks, then months. Morning, afternoon, and night.
It’s not as if you hadn’t already spent almost every waking moment with Jungkook but now you had a reason to be at his apartment at any and all hours of the day and not solely for movie watching marathons. You’re positive he’s still having his occasional random flings, though you’re fortunate his commitment issues at least force him to go to their homes rather than his for the most part, so you never really have to witness half-naked girls stumbling out of his apartment just as you’re wandering in. He says it has something to do with how his bedroom is his sacred space, though you think it’s more like he wouldn’t want his hook ups discovering his Overwatch figurines or something (because, before Jungkook’s proposition, you’ve walked in on him once and a girl when they were entangled on the couch in his living room).
But you’ve noticed lately you’re getting too comfortable with your arrangement with Jungkook; too comfortable knowing he’ll be there at the end of a long day to greet you, to please you until you’re crying out his name. Sometimes he tells you about the girls he’s texting, or shows you a picture from a hot girl’s Instagram whose D.M.s he’s just slid into. And sometimes you’re left wondering how often he comes straight to you after hooking up with a random girl.
It shouldn’t matter to you, and you swear that it doesn’t.
Maybe you’re just overthinking things. Hoseok certainly seems to think so, but his judgement wasn’t much to go by.
Because, lately, Hoseok has been encouraging you more and more to give Yukhei (the blind date Hoseok had initially set you up with when you found yourself at Jungkook’s) another chance for two reasons: 1) “Yukhei’s a nice boy,” he had cheerfully reminded you, “he’ll treat you well,” and 2) “Stop fucking your best friend. It’s morally wrong.”
There were many things wrong with his statement, from the fact that you didn’t exactly consider standing up a date as “nice” and that you were also still begrudgingly lamenting the way Hoseok had discovered your recent fling with Jungkook (although, you weren’t being very inconspicuous, having shower sex with Jungkook early one morning when you were certain Hoseok would be spending the day at his fiance’s home instead of yours).
But then you meet Yukhei and you realize that, oh crap, he’s cute. And he’s nice.
As it turns out, after bumping into him one day when you’re with Hoseok lounging on the quad of your campus and he comes bounding over to return a textbook Hoseok had lent him for a specific class, Yukhei is so easily charming. He also gives a pretty valid excuse for flaking on your date, proving that he had to present his dissertation, making you clearly aware that he’s cute, nice, and smart. Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t see the appeal, yet his curiosity and intrigue seems to get the best of him.
“So that was your blind date?” Jungkook asks after grabbing your attention on the quad and stealing you away from Hoseok and Yukhei. “Yukhei?”
“You know him?”
“Seen him around,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly. “I’ve never really talked to him. But him? You’re not telling me you’re actually interested in him, are you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe,” You’re truly just as clueless about your feelings towards Yukhei as Jungkook seems to be. “What’s so wrong about him?”
“He’s━” Jungkook stops. He shakes his head. “Heard he’s got a small dick anyway.”
You shoot the boy a wary look, only to find him grinning deviously at himself. “Maybe he just wants to be friends.”
At this, Jungkook lets out a scoffing sound that borders on disbelieving laughter. “No, I definitely think he wants to have sex with you in his Toyota Camry, Y/N, but what do I know?”
“You’re not jealous, are you?”
“No, why would I be jealous?”
You can’t quite tell if he’s angry or not but, then again, why would he be? As far as either of you are concerned, there’s nothing to be jealous of.
So then why does it feel like he’s simply just telling himself that?
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“Are you seriously on your phone right now?”
Jungkook asks this from somewhere behind you a handful of days later, a little peeved but most likely because your jarring 8:00 a.m. alarm had roused the both of you violently awake. In his defense, Jungkook is not a morning person.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” You’re currently sprawled out on your hands and knees on his bed, phone still in your grasp after having plucked it off the nightstand in haste. Your clothes are scattered across the floor of his room, remnant clues of the night before when he had beckoned you over after hours, and your body is covered in nothing but hickeys and an unbuttoned blue flannel belonging to Jungkook that you had chucked on last night that does nothing in covering up the swell of your breasts which Jungkook is now currently eyeing. “Am I not giving you enough attention? Were you expecting cuddles or something? Thought that wasn’t in the rules.”
“No,” Jungkook huffs. He runs a hand through his long messy hair in an attempt to fix it; he ultimately gives up taming his locks, instead using the hair tie around his wrist to tie his hair back into a cute yet sexy little ponytail. As he does so, you notice the red friendship bracelet around his wrist and smile smally. “But my dick could use some cuddles. Preferably with your mouth, but it will also gladly accept your hand.”
Jungkook may not be a morning person but, as you’ve come to realize, his dick certainly is.
It’s painfully obvious too, his hardened length straining against the gray sweatpants he had thrown on at some point. And, god, did he have to wear those? It left little to the imagination, the outline of his length teasing you just enough.
“I should get going,” You say. “I have a test coming up. There’s supposed to be a review session today in class, and I don’t want to miss it.”
“Well, you don’t seem like you’re in a rush since you’re still on your phone,” Jungkook points out. “Who are you texting anyway? Yukhei?”
“Anger is an emotion,” You rebuke casually. “So is jealousy.”
Jungkook feigns a look of mock hurt. “I’m not angry or jealous! I’m needy.”
Still, Jungkook reaches out to swiftly pluck your phone from your hands.
“Jungkook━!”
He’s pressed up against your back in an instant, his dick hard against your ass, and he doesn’t move very far even when you twist in your spot in an attempt to grab your phone back. You don’t, and instead you end up on your back with him on his side, propped up on his elbow. You miss when he casts a swift gaze down at your phone, only to see that Yukhei’s chat messages are indeed open, and something seems to gnaw terribly at his gut before he tosses your phone to the side. He’s looking at you now with those big beautiful eyes of his, and you hate it.
“Please?” he beckons. He ruts his hips impatiently but slowly against your leg. He drops his head to bury his face in the crook of your neck, lips dangerously close to brushing against your flesh but he refrains somehow. “M’so hard right now, could probably bust the moment you touch me.”
The thought is tempting, having a helpless Jungkook cumming in your hands. The sight alone has quickly become your favourite thing, helping the frustrated boy get off. Besides, you’re certain you could ask Hoseok for the review notes.
Fuck it, you cave.
You fidget until you’ve pressed him back against the bed and have clambered on top of him, wiggling your way down to fit between his legs. Jungkook is watching you now with a half-asleep expression, though his teeth sink into his lower lip as you pull at his sweatpants until they’re down at his thighs, letting his swollen dick spring free.
“You know━” You hum. You reach out to grab at the base of his cock. “Yukhei wants to hang out, and Hoseok keeps telling me to give it a shot.”
That much is true. Part of you wants to say yes, if only because Yukhei seems promising enough, but the thought alone is enough for you to feel as if you’ve done something horribly wrong to Jungkook.
“Oh.” The word eclipses Jungkook’s mouth in a shallow breath of air. Then, your mouth wraps around the puffy head of his dick, shining with leaking precum that you swallow back, and Jungkook’s reaction is immediate. Head thrown back, face scrunching together, muscles in his toned abdomen flexing as he seizes and grunts aloud. “Oh, fuck━ Well… Are you gonna?”
Jungkook asks the last question with much difficulty, and a part of him thinks it doesn’t all have to do with how you’re making him feel.
“Dunno.” You snort around his dick, and he marvels at how adorable such a lewd action can seem.
You decide to focus on sucking him off because it truly is a sexy sight to see, letting the topic of Yukhei drop. Jungkook certainly doesn’t mind. As you swirl your tongue around his tip and reach up with your free hand to fondle at his balls, his long hair falls into his lashes but he still tries to find you past his wild locks, hooded eyes gazing down at you.  
“Ah, shit━” Jungkook hisses delightfully, hips jerking forward instinctively into your mouth. The faintest hints of a drowsy smirk tug at his lips. “Fuck, yes, just like that.”
Yeah, you think to yourself then, you’re definitely going to ride him later. Screw going to class.
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From: Jungkook Sent: 1:05 a.m.
bro i noticed u werent wearing our friendship bracelet while u were giving me head earlier. is everything ok??
You wake in the morning to a single text from Jungkook ━ and one you had not been expecting.
That’s not to say that getting the occasional text message from Jungkook at any and all hours of the day was abnormal, but the extent of his messages sent anywhere past midnight usually always range from something more coherent in the form of “what would u do if i was there rn?” to something exuding typical lazy Jungkook manner with a simple “dtf?” or “send noods lol” to something even more provocatively cryptic such as the eggplant and splashing water (or, as far as Jungkook is concerned, something else entirely) emojis and nothing else, left open for your own interpretation that typically, usually, without a doubt, results in you in his bed and his dick in you. But this seems to be something else entirely.
Unfortunately, Jungkook’s text isn’t the only concern of yours.
Hoseok has spent the better part of the morning giving you a lecture on why having sex with your best friend is bad. He seems so passionate about the topic that you’re certain he would have pulled out a powerpoint at any moment, each slide ending in a picture of Yukhei and why you should maybe try fucking him instead, if you entertained the idea a little longer. Hoseok claims it’s just a harmless date. Yukhei might be a nice boy, but you don’t know how you feel about him. You don’t want to lead him on, and a scary thought points out the fact that maybe, while Yukhei is a nice boy, he isn’t Jungkook.
“I don’t get why you don’t just give Yukhei a chance━” Hoseok is saying now, sat on the couch in your shared apartment with him. “It’s not like you have to marry him. I don’t think one date will hurt━ Aaand, you’re not even listening to me anymore, are you?”
The sheepish look on your face is enough of an answer for him. You’ve been anxiously eyeing your phone and the text Jungkook had sent you last that you’ve yet to respond to, even despite being awake for more than a few hours now.
“Yes, I am listening,” You say dismissively. “Something about how one date won’t hurt, but that’s what you said when Yoongi asked you out, and you’re literally engaged now.”
The glistening metallic ring on Hoseok’s finger is evidence enough. The boy looks down at it as if seeing it for the first time, purses his lips, and then nods in agreement. “Okay, yeah, maybe you’re right. But you’re holding out for Jungkook and for what? He’s hot, yeah, and he’s your best friend, sure, but at the end of the day he’s still just a horny male who wants to stick his dick in anything that moves.”
“Hoseok.” Your grumbling sigh is interrupted by the motion of your phone vibrating against your thigh once more. You peek at the screen fleetingly to see a new text.
From: Jungkook Sent: 2:35 p.m.
send n00ds?
miss ur tits :(
Typical Jungkook.
The text from the night before is all but seemingly forgotten from his mind, and you can’t quite tell if you’re devastated or relieved. You don’t have very long to discern which emotion you’re feeling when Hoseok snatches your phone to look at what’s gotten your attention before exclaiming suddenly, “Aha! See! What did I say?”
“It’s not like that,” You wave Hoseok off. “Jungkook treats me well. He respects me, and I’m comfortable with him.”
“And how long until whatever this is━” He gestures vaguely to your phone as if to point out your relationship with Jungkook, “has to end? Do you really think a pinky promise is going to make sure your friendship with him isn’t totally ruined? I mean, how can you continue being casual friends with someone, see them dating someone else, when they’ve had their dick in you?”
You know it makes sense. Realistically, you either stop sleeping with each other or it potentially develops into something more. But in both circumstances, what were the chances that either of you didn’t get your heart broken? Maybe a part of you was apprehensive of Jungkook finding the “right” person for him one day that has him ending things with you, and while you swear you’d be happy for him, relationships sometimes have a way of distracting people from those already around them. Were you prepared to have someone take him away from you, platonically and whatever it is else that you have with him? Did you really think you could just keep being friends with him, as if nothing ever occurred between you two?
You don’t think Jungkook is bothered worrying about the state of your friendship with him, much less overthinking it like you seem to be. It shouldn’t be a big deal ━ yet why was there still that terrible nagging voice in the back of your mind? Whether or not Hoseok is right, you don’t want to find out. You don’t have feelings for Jungkook anyway.
But your ability to bend at his every will is certainly interesting.
You grab your phone before Hoseok can do any serious damage like unlocking it and responding to Jungkook, clutching it to your chest as you start to cross the living room. The other boy looks at you in bewilderment. “Where are you going now?”
“Where does it look?” You call over your shoulder just before you disappear into the bathroom, and Hoseok deduces all at once that you’re truly a lost cause. “I need to send him a picture of my boobs.”
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“He’s totally into you, Y/N.”
Admittedly, there were many mundane but essentially weird things you’ve talked to Jungkook about while having sex. You’ve had many heated debates about everything under the sun from whether or not pineapple on pizza should be illegal to top five betrayals in either movies or animes, to passionate grand philosophical discussions about what exists outside of the universe.
It’s not as if you had been planning on talking about Yukhei to Jungkook when he had invited you over to his apartment late at night after sending your risqué boob picture to him but, like many things in your friendship with Jungkook, it sort of just happened. He had asked you how your day was and you had decided to broach the topic experimentally, though you think deep down you’re doing it on purpose to see if he’d react in any way. What started with you mentioning Hoseok’s adamance and you sort of genuinely asking Jungkook for advice on Yukhei somehow evolved into Jungkook interrogating you on whether or not you’ve hung out with him yet.
“Jungkook. You’re getting off topic,” You admonish him now, as if your own choice of topic is any better when his dick is currently in you.
Jungkook is wedged between your thighs smushed up against your chest, large palms holding you on your ribcage in place beneath him. He’s a comfortable heavy draped over top of you, cock stretching you wide. You can feel his heart hammering against yours and he’s slick with sweat, golden hair clinging to his forehead and in his pretty eyes. You resist the urge to reach out and brush the messy locks away but, again, how would that be any less intimate of an action than what you’re already doing? Another line uncrossed, you suppose.
“How am I off topic?” Jungkook retorts. “You literally just said you can’t tell if he’s into you but he dropped by when you were done class and bought you lunch. You don’t just do that for a girl you don’t care that much about.”
“You buy me lunch, like, every day,” You point out.
“Because you’re my best friend. Of course I care about you,” Jungkook says.
“Ah, Jungkook━” You curse suddenly, grabbing his attention when you shift your weight beneath him. “You’re crushing me. Why’d you stop moving?”
He doesn’t have an answer, if only because he hadn’t even realized he’d stop moving in the first place. Without hesitation, he continues leisurely rutting his hips against yours, grabbing at one of your legs to hook it around his waist. This new angle lets you feel even more of him as he sinks further into you, if that was even still possible, reaching so far into you that you swear it’s like you can feel him in your stomach. Your head lolls back against the pillows, pure euphoria contorting your face so much so to the point that it distracts you entirely from the distant look glazing over Jungkook’s eyes.
“Yukhei definitely wants to bang,” he huffs under his breath.
At once, an exasperated groan fills his ears.
“I can’t believe we’re seriously having this conversation right now,” You roll your eyes, fingers prodding at his sides. “I don’t wanna talk about Yukhei potentially wanting to have sex with me.”
Jungkook’s glad you said it, at least. Though now he’s watching you with hooded eyes as he thrusts into you a little harder, maybe a little intentionally. His indulgent gaze droops to your breasts, admiring the way they bounce beneath him each time his hips make contact with yours. He thinks back earlier in the day to the picture you had sent him which, really, had sparked the mood for the rest of the night.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he whines abruptly. His eyes screw shut and brows furrow together as your walls clench around him. He drops his head to bury his face in your chest, lips momentarily wrapping around one of your nipples as he sucks harshly at the soft flesh. When he speaks next, forehead still resting against your collarbones, his voice is a breathless croak, “Well, do you like him?”
“No,” You moan. “Maybe━ Fuck, Koo━ I don’t know.”
“He’s gonna be at that party Tae’s throwing, isn’t he?” Jungkook tries to focus, but it’s becoming increasingly harder to do so when he’s inching closer and closer to his high. “Shit, ah, Y/N━ Why don’t you try talking to him or something? See how the night goes?”
“He’s nice but I don’t think he’s the one for me,” You admit sheepishly. “I think I’m just gonna end things while I still can, with as little harm as possible.”
“Well, glad that’s settled,” Jungkook mumbles. “Can we please stop talking about Yukhei now?”
You seem to miss the way he clings to you a little tighter, hands flying down to grip at your hips, nails digging crescent moon shapes into your skin. He snaps his hips into yours a little faster this time, your pussy throbbing around him.
“Nngh, Jungkook━”
Your hands fumble to grip at his hair, tugging tightly at the roots and earning a delightful hiss from the boy. Your own mouth drops open in a silent moan and it’s a wonder he doesn’t combust at just how sexy the sight is. He hates how his eyes stay trained on the shape of your lips, the soft plumpness of them. He’s felt them wrapped around his dick plenty of times before but he concedes that it’s probably hardly anywhere near to how it would feel to kiss you. Like actually kiss you, tongue and all.
God, what’d he give just to smother your lips with his.
And, god, he hopes you never find out. He’s positive that thought is far more scandalous alone than anything you’ve ever done together.
You’re writhing beneath him now, hips jutting forward desperately to meet his. “I’m gonna cum, Jungkook━”
“Fuck, yes,” Jungkook growls. “Wanna feel you cream around my cock so bad. Come on, baby━”
In the heat of the moment, you seem to miss the pet name that slurs off his tongue and the sentiment in it. A few more jolting slams of his hips and you’re tumbling over the edge. He has to sputter for air when he feels your pussy wrapping so tightly around him, stuttering in his pace above you if only to watch as you unravel beneath him. Hooded dark eyes glazed over in that perfect fucked out expression he loves so much, teeth biting at your lower lip so hard he wonders if it’ll bruise in the morning.
A sudden thought pops into his head when you’ve settled enough, amongst the blinding pure white of bliss that clouds his thoughts. “Did you get my text by the way? The one I sent last night?”
You gasp for air. The bracelet on your wrist itches at the mention of it, and you’re fortunate you decided to wear it that afternoon before coming to Jungkook’s. “Y-Yeah━”
“Well…?”
“Everything’s fine,” You say this as dismissively as you can. Your core is still vibrating after the harsh impact of your orgasm paired with Jungkook’s swollen length still in you. “I just… I was taking a shower and didn’t want to get it wet. I forgot to put it back on in the morning.”
That’s a lie. You had mostly taken it off as part of an experiment, though it hasn’t answered much. At least Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize that.
“Oh,” Jungkook breathes. A beat of silence passes, before he deadpans cockily, “Wait, you were taking a shower and I wasn’t invited?”
“Oh my god, shut up━” Maybe if he hadn’t just currently driven you to nirvana and back, you’d notice the way the sloppy grin on his face is a simple taunt. But you’re much too distracted to care. Instead, you use your leg that’s still hooked around his waist to gently push and roll him onto his back so that you can straddle his hips. His eyes sparkle mischievously as he watches you waste no time in hurrying to grind against him at an agonizingly steady pace that makes his head spin. “You’re ruining the moment. I’m trying to make you cum.”
A devious cackle rumbles from his chest, albeit a little contented at the same time. Yeah, he definitely likes the sound of that. “Well then, by all means, don’t let me stop you.”
It’s only then that his question comes back into your mind. If he felt the need to ask you again about the bracelet, maybe that meant something after all. At the very least, it means he hadn’t forgotten about it altogether. On the other hand, you wonder how often he had spent thinking, or over-thinking, the issue in the past twenty-four hours, if at all.
Was it wrong to feel some semblance of joy over that potential fact? Probably.
That doesn’t seem to bother you much this time. Not when he’s gazing up at you as if you’re some divine sexy goddess, all his to enjoy. You can’t help yourself; you reach down to brush the sweaty hair from his eyes, perhaps all too gentle of an action for best friends.
And he smiles, maybe a little too softly and maybe a little too ardently if you look close enough.
He smiles.
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The thing about your supposed “rules” with your relationship with Jungkook is that there might be a few loose ends that neither you nor Jungkook pay much attention to sometimes.
But that’s neither here nor there.
Mostly, the “no public displays of affection” clause is easily disregardable. It’s typically when you’re too drunk to remember it and a bit needy, craving one another’s touch, but those around you never truly seem to care or even notice because, if you’re lucky, they’re equally as smashed. Sometimes the “no cuddles” clause blurs into a gray area where it’s simply just you and Jungkook post-sex, sprawled out in his bed, not necessarily wrapped up in one another’s arms and cooing sweet nothings to one another but giggling at nothing in particular except one another as you bask in each other’s company and nothing more. You suppose some rules are meant to be broken.
For the most part, Jungkook never seems to question the no kissing rule you were so adamant in insisting. Not until one night in which you’re left wondering where things go so drastically wrong. It starts off as normally as any other day with you and Jungkook can, spent in his apartment binge watching movies. You hadn’t expected that night to switch as suddenly as it does when Jungkook shoots you a text earlier in the day asking if you want to come to his for a night of casual drinking as simply “best friends.” But, as always, one thing seems to lead to another, and you can’t get enough of Jungkook. Maybe it’s in the way he holds you a little tighter, the way he tugs you onto his lap on the sofa in his living room, the way he grips your thighs with a certain type of insatiable desire.
“You know…” he hums. “You drive me insane. In, like, the best way possible.”
Part of you realizes his actions even without him seeming to, and the drunken smile on your face remaining frozen in place, a little dumbfounded. “Jungkook…”
“When I’m with you…” He lifts his stare to look at you, but you have nothing to say. Neither does he. Instead, you’re left grinning at one another and suddenly your face is warm. He leans towards you, his nose nuzzling against the side of your throat. Your hands stay threaded in his hair now, and he swears he feels you secure your grip as if to pull him closer.
You can feel his lips brush faintly against your skin, grazing along your neck to the underside of your jaw. Up, up, up, until━
It’s just as his mouth meets with the corner of yours that you register what he’s doing, even in your clouded state. You turn your head just in time, and he comes to an immediate halt, his lips barely making contact with your cheek instead before he pulls away. He doesn’t move very far but you also don’t push him away just yet. Instead, you shift your head to look at him, still inches apart from him.
“What are you doing?” You ask. He can’t quite tell if you’re appalled or not, an empty expression staring back at him.
“I━ You━” He fumbles over his words, squeezes his eyes shut. He blames it on the alcohol even though his head is swimming with thoughts that seem to only concern you. But then a fierceness seems to stir within him, one that makes his jaw clench as he meets your stunned stare. The question rolls off his tongue without meaning to. “Is this about Yukhei?”
“What?”
“Is that why you weren’t wearing our bracelet the other day?”
The question is so ridiculous, you have to laugh. “What are you going on about?”
But Jungkook doesn’t see what’s so funny and so he tries again, his persistence taking hold. “Is that why you won’t ever let me kiss you?”
You blink. Then, you’re shaking your head at him. Exasperation hangs heavy in your words, shaping in the form of a tired scoff. “You’re not serious.”
You’ve slithered off of his lap before he can even think to stop you ━ but if he had, would you have even stayed? You’re mad, but he doesn’t know why. “No, I wanna know. Because if what we have is already so meaningless, what makes a kiss any different?”
“Jungkook…”
“So I wanna know,” he says, brows unconsciously knitting together. His gaze is searching yours desperately, as if begging for an answer he’ll want to hear. But he knows he’s being an idiot, a small sober part in him makes him realize that. “Humour me. Have you had sex with him yet?”
“Oh my god. I can’t believe that’s what you’re on about.” Suddenly, you’re frowning. Your hardened stare meets the boy’s and the irritation that scrunches at your face makes him wince, but it’s too late for him to take back the damage that he’s done. “Yeah, Jungkook, we fucked in his stupid Toyota that you hate so much and he choked me and I liked it. He did all sorts of dirty things to me. Is that what you want to hear?” The sardonic tone hisses at his ears, but he bites back his words, the sober part in him doing some decent good by shushing him. “No, Jungkook, we didn’t fuck. We haven’t even gone on a date, and I don’t even know if I want to, and you think I’m throwing myself at him.”
“But you wanna.”
“You’re being an idiot,” You admonish. “I’m going home. Talk to me when you’re sober.”
He has just enough time to watch you turn on your heel, march towards his door, when he scrambles to his feet. The weight of his words and actions finally seem to dawn on him, hitting him harshly in the face and in the heart.
“Fuck, wait! Wait━” he gasps.
He chases after you, hand reaching out to press his palm against the door before you can shimmy it open. He’s fortunate when you turn to look at him, though your arms are folded impatiently over your chest.
“You’re right. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad,” he promises earnestly. Then, he lets out a frustrated groan. “I just… What if we… Shit, what if we stop for right now? Y’know… Hooking up. Whatever this is.”
He gestures vaguely between the two of you with his hands, a wearied look plastering his face.
You hate to admit how his words seem to affect you. They bite at the air, leave you breathless as you gawk at him, but the harsh realization of it all is that you were never his to have and he was never yours. Hoseok had been right when he said these things were bound to come to an end ━ so why did it seem to hurt you so much?
A beat of prolonged silence passes between the two of you. Jungkook runs a hand through his chaotic blonde hair, digging the heel of his palm into his temple as if to rid himself of a headache he’s no doubt sporting. Maybe you’re waiting for a better explanation, but he gives none, and you don’t feel as if you have the right to ask why. He’s not your boyfriend, for god’s sake. It’s not like he’s breaking your heart.
Instead, you take a deep breath and say, “Okay.”
“Okay.” It’s all that he says in return.
So then why does it feel like he is?
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When Jungkook had promised that if your fling with him ended you would go back to being untainted best friends, he was apparently lying.
A part of you can’t believe the sheer nerve of him to ghost you in his traditional fuckboy ways, and yet he does. You suppose not entirely, at the very least. Part of it ends up with you being even more vexed by his sudden shift in emotion, and the tangible tension that rises between the two of you should have been dealt with properly, yet neither of you do anything about it, leaving your friendship stagnant and stale for a week. After all, how are you really supposed to go back to “just friends” when you’ve seen his dick one too many times?
You refrain from telling Hoseok, if only so you don’t have to hear him tell you he told you so ━ but you also decide to give Yukhei that one chance, and so you think Hoseok wouldn’t mind so much anyway.
Admittedly, when Yukhei asks to hang with you at Taehyung’s eventual party, you aren’t entirely too keen, but you accept it if only because you heard Jungkook will be there too. For the majority of the night, you don’t see the boy, and you spend the hours cozying up with Yukhei in a conversation that dulls you. As it would appear, it seems to bore Yukhei too, but you only notice that when he starts touching you on your waist and the small of your back. There’s a moment where he leans his head close enough to yours that you realize he’s trying to kiss you, resulting in an awkward encounter in which you push him away, palms on his chest.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. The answer is obvious enough to you, but you don’t think you should tell him for his own dignity. That, instead, all you can imagine is Jungkook in his place. “Should we get out of here?”
“Y/N. Can I talk to you?”
You’re both fortunate yet horrified when you hear Jungkook’s voice. He’s standing just behind you, his own stare devoid of any emotion, though his brows furrow and his jaw clenches in a signature Jungkook manner that you know means he’s pissed. He hardly acknowledges Yukhei, nodding in his general direction. You don’t remember if you leave Yukhei there or if he leaves, or if Jungkook even gives a poor attempt of an excuse to the boy, but you’ve not so much as uttered a single word or let out an exhalation of air, when Jungkook ultimately pulls you off to the side where it’s just you and him once more.
“I’m not sucking your dick in Tae’s grimy bathroom, if that’s what you want,” You scowl once Yukhei is out of earshot. “You’ve lost the privilege that is my mouth.”
“That’s not━” Jungkook shakes his head, exasperated. “That’s not what I want. I just━ I’ll take you home. Please?”
You know the offer is much more than him simply walking you the route to your dorm, which you already know like the back of your hand. Yet, you don’t argue. Truthfully, it’s a relief when Jungkook lugs you out of the party. The entire venture back to your apartment is treacherous, in the way that you’re left sobering up enough to the point that your dizzying thoughts become more coherent. Hoseok is gone for the weekend at least, spending the days with his fiance, so you don’t have to worry about humiliating yourself in front of your roommate when it comes to Jungkook.
You’ve barely made it through your front door when you’re grumbling aloud, “What do you want, Jungkook?”
“I wanna talk,” he says firmly. “About us. About Yukhei.”
“Maybe I don’t want to.” But that’s a lie. Talking to Jungkook, even despite masquerading your annoyance for him, is a blessing in disguise. You’ve missed the idiot, and hearing his voice. “Besides, you told me to give him a chance.”
“And you said you didn’t want to.”
“Maybe I changed my mind.”
“Yeah, you sure seemed like you loved it when he was trying to shove his tongue down your throat,” Jungkook retorts bitterly. “C’mon, Y/N. We both know that’s a lie.”
“You know, you’ve been a real dick lately.”
A sliver of a smirk tugs at Jungkook’s face. “I thought you love dick.”
Clearly, his poor attempt at a joke doesn’t land well with you. “Why do you even care so much if Yukhei and I get together? Stop acting so high and mighty and moral, Jungkook. It’s not like you’re some virgin saint. How many times have I heard you talk about all those girls you’ve fucked? And what was I? Just another notch in your belt this whole time?”
“What?” Jungkook gasps now, as if disbelieving you would ever think such a thing. “No! You’re not just another notch. I would never even think about you that way. And I haven’t had sex with anyone else but you this whole time and I easily could have.”
“Wow! Such a martyr,” You remark dryly. When you speak next, you meet his stare with your own crestfallen gaze. “I just want my best friend back.” Your words hurt him more than you think, but he can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. “You’re the one who tried to kiss me, then suggested we stop whatever it is we’re doing━”
Jungkook flinches. “I know.”
“Then you ignore me for days even though you promised nothing would change━”
“I know,” he says desperately. He closes the distance between the two of you, yearning to reach out and touch you. Instead, he clamps his eyes shut, trying with all his might to focus when the room feels like it’s spinning.
“And then you get mad when Yukhei tries to make a move. It’s like you’re jealous or something!”
“I am.” He can’t take it anymore. The words tumble from his lips in a rush that he hardly bothers to bite back.
“Why?”
“Because━ Because━” He struggles to form his thoughts into words, stumbling over his sentence. Fuck, he’s never like this. Even you can tell. He grits his teeth next. “I lean in to kiss you and you look at me as if I’m out of my mind. I just don’t get it. You don’t want me to kiss you but you let me put my dick in your ass.”
The taut line of your lip quivers as you break. “That was one time and you didn’t even get all the way in!”
“Y/N.” Jungkook hums now. He’s gazing at you a little softly, reaching out to place his hands on your waist. “Look, I know I’ve been an idiot. But lately, when I touch you, I fucking feel so alive and the thought of Yukhei doing anything with you when it isn’t me, who should be with you, makes me want to vomit. And when I wake up in the morning alone, I only want you next to me. And I can’t be the only one feeling that way. If I am, tell me. Right now. Please. I just wanna know why you won’t ever let me kiss you, but you let me do all sorts of things with you. Am I really that repulsive?”
Another moment of silence stifles the room. Jungkook is so close to you now, you can’t help yourself. You reach up to tug at the collar of his shirt, fingers twisting in the material as you lean your forehead out of frustration against his shoulder and he instinctively lets his arms slither around your waist, holding you to him. Then━
“No.”
“What?”
“I only made the rule because I don’t want you to kiss me unless you mean it,” You murmur into his chest. “Like really, really mean it. Like I’m more than just a notch in your belt. Because I want to kiss you so badly, and I’m already in love with you but then I’ll really be in love with you and I don’t want to get my heart broken.”
The anticipation kills you, awaiting his response. You refuse to lift your head, until you hear him grumble, “You’re so fucking stupid.”
“Me?”
The retort is filled with your typical jestering hostility as you finally look at him. But just as you do so, Jungkook’s reaching out to grasp at your face, rough hands all soft and gentle as they cradle your cheeks, guiding you towards him and smoothing his lips over yours until you melt like putty in his hands.
Kissing Jungkook, you deduce at once, is not at all how you imagined it.
It’s everything and more. You’ve felt his mouth on you before but in much different circumstances. Between your legs, on your throat, down past the valley of your breasts ━ and each kiss then had been feral, sloppy, rough. Now, it’s sweet and tender, the feeling of his lips as soft as how he makes your heart feel. And the butterflies━ god, the butterflies.
Impatient hands tug and pull at one another until you’ve both stumbled into your room and onto your bed. He’s clambered over top of you, lips struggling to not part throughout the whole ordeal, until he’s wedged himself between your thighs.
Only then does Jungkook part from you just enough in the next moment, lips brushing against yours, as he whispers ardently, “I mean it.”
Then he’s kissing the corner of your lips down to the underside of your jaw, his mouth grazing along your skin in a feathery touch. His hands help you shed your shirt, and the bra underneath. “I mean it when I kiss you here.”
Then he drops his head to your neck, kissing at the base of your throat, before nipping at it lightly. “And here.”
Your hands come to thread in his hair, tugging at the roots. He burrows his face lastly in your chest, snatching the nipple of one of your breasts between his teeth. “Here…”
You’re so soft and supple beneath his hands, all his to love and explore.
“I want you, all of you,” he mumbles. “Only you.”
“Oh, Koo…”
A pretty moan tumbles from your mouth, and he could nearly cry. He had surely thought you were far past the point of enraged, far past the point of pensive words shaped in a heartfelt apology to bring you back to him. But then hearing you rasp his name ━ the little cute nickname that only you call him ━ makes him so goddamn remorseful.
He smothers your lips with his once more, groaning into your mouth. “I’m such a fucking dick. I don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t say that,” You whine.
“I’m sorry,” he laments. He bites at your lower lip, suckling against it. “Please let me make it up to you.”
“You already have.”
“But I’ve been such a shitty friend,” he groans. It’s hard to focus when he’s pressing his hips against yours, the forming bulge in his pants straining against the inside of your thigh. “I should’ve known when to stop. I shouldn’t have even suggested the whole thing in the first place, because then I wouldn’t have messed us all up.”
“Jungkook,” Your grip tightens in his hair. “Jungkook━ I want you so bad. Just wanna be yours.”
“Yeah?” His breath is warm as it fans against your neck. You rub your core eagerly against him, throbbing pussy so close to making contact with his dick.
“Yeah,” You mewl.
“What do you want from me?”
“You. Wanna feel your dick in me, please,” Your fingers tug at the top of his jeans, prodding at the muscles on his abdomen. “In my mouth. Can make you feel better, Koo, I promise. Just wanna be your good girl.”
“Mmm, I like the sound of that.”
He lets you push him until he’s on his back and you’re straddling his hips. Your limbs entangle with his as you shed the rest of your clothes, your own hands wandering up and down the front of his body after he’s tossed his shirt onto the floor. Then he watches as you shimmy your way down his body. You’re so zealous in pleasing him, wrapping your hand around the base of his dick, head angry and red, dribbling pearly beads of precum down the shaft and over the bulging vein that lines it. You run your thumb over the tip and down, spreading the sticky fluid over him. He grunts in response, nearly jolting at your touch, as his head drops back against his shoulders.
“Oh, fuck,” he growls.
You pump him slowly, taking you time as your closed fist glides up and down his length. He shudders each time your hand reaches the base, and becomes so carried away with your leisure teasing that his eyes are screwed shut and misses the way you dip down to kiss at the tip of his cock. His eyes immediately flutter open, a flustered expression painting his face. You lap again at the head, saltiness coating your tongue, and you let out a simpering moan that has him quivering. And when you wrap your mouth entirely around his cock, sinking down along his length, he swears he’s about to fall apart. Your eyes flicker upward to meet him and the moment they lock, so sexy and dark, he has to look away for fear of busting right then and there. He reclines back against the bed once more, his hand flying out to grab at your hair.
“You’re so good to me, baby,” he rasps.
He can feel the curve of your lips against his cock as you suck him off. You do so well, too. Puffing your cheeks out, taking as much of him as you can until it feels as if he’s hitting the back of your throat. Then, you’ll suck at the tip of his cock, tongue swirling rapidly around, as your fist rubs his shaft. It’s a beautiful mix, one that inches him closer and closer to his high, and each time you switch he has to hold it together to not let go so soon. He wants to enjoy it, needs to bask in it. Your pretty mouth doing such sinful things, making him feel as if he were in heaven.
“Shit━” His hips jut forward to meet with your mouth, accidentally hitting the back of your throat without warning. You gag a little, but don’t pull away, and when he apologizes to you hastily, you only moan in response. A thought pops into his head that has him beckon aloud, “Will you be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth? Huh, baby?”
You hum in approval, eyes shimmering with glee.
So, he plants both hands in your hair, grabs at the sides of your head, and as you hollow out your cheeks, he bucks into your mouth. He does it again and again, listening to your crescendoing mewls of delight, forming a sticky mess of drool and cum that spills onto your chin.
“God, you’re so good,” Jungkook grunts. He’s a complete wreck, eyes screwing shut, blonde tresses spilling into his lashes. The muscles in his abdomen twitch with each sharp inhale of air he takes, so mesmerized by the shape of your pretty mouth around his dick, like you were made for him. “Such a good girl, huh?”
He fucks himself into your mouth roughly, frantically. Tears start to prick at your eyes from holding your breath, yet you keep yourself together just a little longer for him, lashes fluttering shut tightly.
“All mine too,” Jungkook hisses. “Wouldn’t let Yukhei do this to you, would you? Fuck, I’m━”
With your head left immobile stuck in his grasp, you hum in disapproval instead. You know he’s close when you start to hear him panting breathily. When he cums, it’s with a fractured whine and in short hot bursts onto your tongue and down your throat. You swallow as much as you can and, when he parts from you with a resonating lewd pop, you wipe away with your knuckles at the rest of his cum leaking out of the corner of your mouth and onto your chin. Dark hooded eyes meet with yours, a mischievous glint captivating them. You crawl over to him, straddling his hips once more, chasing his mouth with yours. Your own lips are so wet, coated in saliva and cum, bruised plump, but yet you’re smiling so innocently past the way he can taste himself on his tongue.
A dazed thought pops into your head that has you murmuring wistfully against him, “Say it again. I like hearing you call me baby.”
“Hmm? What about when I call you my good girl?” Jungkook nips at your lips. He grasps at your waist, flipping you over until you’re on your back beneath him. “You treat me so well, baby; you’re my only girl, you know that.”
A contented sigh sounds from you as you rut your hips in thinning desperation to meet his, so close to rubbing against his dick nestled against his thigh. He licks at his fingers hastily, reaching between the two of you to press against your clit, rubbing leisurely at the soft bundle of nerves. He’s learned how to navigate your body after months of supposed emotionless fucking, but now? Now, he felt as if his heart may just burst through his chest. Every reaction you make to his every touch ━ the needy plea to have him make you his, call you baby ━ makes him want to see more, and more.
“Am I?” You ask hoarsely. He grasps at his dick, guiding his tip to your core, so slick and wet, glistening with your own arousal. As he pushes himself in with a hiss, he watches as you contort beneath him. “Nnngh, Jungkook━”
“Fuuck,” he groans. He sinks into you, spreading your thighs further and further apart, until his hips make contact with yours. His mouth attacks yours with a feverish passion, the rumble of his moans and your whimpers muffling against one another. Then, he remembers to answer your awaiting question, barely audible between the way his tongue lavs at yours. “You are. I’m so fucking in love with you. But I don’t deserve you.”
Your hands tug impatiently at his hair. “Stop saying that.”
“But it’s true,” he hums. He’s quick to start rutting at your hips in a steady yet agonizing pace, dick burrowing into your pussy as your walls throb and shake. He can’t help but watch, mesmerized as always by the way his length slips past your folds and disappears into you. Again, and again, and again, so lewdly destroying your pretty cunt. “Just want Yukhei to touch you all over instead, don’t you?”
“No,” You croak.
You spread your thighs instinctively wider apart, allowing him to sink even further into you until it feels as if he’s hitting you so far in your stomach. Each roll of his hips is punctuated by the crude noise of skin against skin, sending you spiralling.
“Want him to do all sorts of dirty things to you, huh?”
“N-No. Fuck, Jungkook━ Harder, please━”
“That’s what you said,” Jungkook retorts. Still, he listens to your pleas, snapping his hips into yours roughly enough to send you jolting back on the bed. His hands start to roam your body, pinching at your hips, then grasping ferociously at one of your breasts. “Want him to fuck you in his car, right?” His palm feels like fire as it slides up past your collarbones to your throat. “Want him to choke you.”
His hand comes to wrap around the underside of your jaw on your throat, thumb and index finger pressing against the pressure points there. He squeezes, though with barely any force, just enough to feel your rapid pulse beneath his digits in a way that makes you so suddenly hyper aware of everything he’s doing to you. Cock stretching you wide, palm heavy around your throat, mouth folding over yours. So caught up in the overwhelming sensations you’re feeling, you can’t tell if he’s genuinely upset with himself, though you suspect part of him is. You can sense it in the way he clings to you a little tighter, can see it laced within his dazzling pupils.
Jungkook huffs, hair flopping into his eyes as he grits his teeth and ruts his hips faster into you if only to see more of your pretty little reactions. Your jaw unhinges at the feeling, head falling back onto the pillows. “He could probably treat you nicer too.”
You shake your head wildly, fingers digging into the skin on his shoulders. “Just want you, Koo.”
“Still?” he asks. His grip on your neck fastens a little more, pure euphoria riddling all your senses and making you writhe beneath him. “God, you’re such a dumb little slut, aren’t you?”
You nod in your groggy exhaustion, the familiar burn coiling in your stomach, making your toes curl.
Jungkook feels your own high approach. Your walls are clenched so tightly around him, he has to sputter for air. “Could he make you feel like this?”
“No, Koo,” You whine. “Only you.”
“Yeah?” Jungkook growls. “Good girl. Gonna cum around my dick like the good little slut you are?”
Your hips ricochet upwards to meet his, relentless pounding into your core. “Please, please━”
Jungkook quickens his pace until you’ve deteriorated into absolute shambles, whimpering his name after each thrust. You tumble towards your high, cuming around his length as he burrows it into you again and again, and all he can think is mine, mine, mine. As you unravel beneath him, he slides his hand off of your throat and slithers it underneath you and around your waist, hoisting you slightly enough off the bed so that he can reach his own orgasm. He’s a little more frantic now, sloppy and restless as he pummels into you.
“Shit, baby━” he cries out. “Oh, fuck, you’re so good━”
As you come down from your high enough, you somehow manage to murmur drowsily, “Cum in me, Koo. Wanna feel it.”
You grab at his face, pulling him down to catch his lips on yours, and the thought is so tempting he can’t refuse. He gets so lost in your lips, cuming with one final slam of his hips into yours and a chorus of curses mingling with your name in whimpers. He rides out both of your highs with a few half-hearted thrusts, more concerned with kissing you in useless open-mouthed kisses as your own mouth parts with one last weary moan while he fills you up.
When he’s spent, he collapses against your chest, and you collapse onto the bed. It’s quiet long enough for the both of you to calm the shrill beat of your hearts when you feel Jungkook stir, moving to part from you, pulling his dick from your swollen pussy and planting a lingering peck on your cheek. He disappears momentarily but returns a few seconds later, towel in hand which he uses to wipe at your core now leaking with his cum and your heart croons at all his tender touches.
It makes you realize all at once that, god, yes, you’re so in love with your idiot best friend and he’s so in love with you.
“Jungkook.”
He turns to look at you, an adoring smile dancing upon his lips when he sees your own radiant beaming face. You beckon him over and he relents, letting you pull him into your arms. He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck as he wraps his own arms around you to tug you closer to his side. As your fingers come to rake through his sweaty hair, he cranes his neck to follow your hand and hear him coo against your neck, “That feels so good.”
A sudden thought crosses your mind that has you smirking smally to yourself. “Are we… Are we cuddling? Jungkook, I thought you didn’t like cuddling. Said it was, and I quote, sentimental bullshit.”
“I never liked it because it wasn’t with you. Didn’t wanna waste my time on someone that wasn’t you,” Jungkook hums, matter-of-fact. You can tell he’s a little embarrassed at the way you so casually taunt him about such an obvious fact, though he’s fortunate you can’t see him smiling like a complete fool. “And I wanna do all that sentimental bullshit with only you. Now, shush━” He scolds you playfully. “M’so tired and I just wanna hold you tight.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Your heart leaps in your chest. “Just promise me one thing?”
It’s only then that he lifts his sleepy gaze to find yours, apprehensive of any potentially looming severity in your words. “Anything.”
Instead, all he can find is the way you trace your finger along the details of his face, from his nose, to his cheekbones, down to the freckle under his lip with the hand that sports your friendship bracelet. “In the morning, when we wake up, you’ll still be here to hold me tight. And every other morning after that.”
His smile widens even more, if that was even possible. “Wouldn’t want it any other way. But━”
“But?”
“On one condition.”
“What’s that?”
His eyes sparkle cheekily. “Kiss me.”
So, you do, again and again and again; and Jungkook thinks, yeah, he certainly can get used to this.
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It takes you a month to cave in to Jungkook’s incessant pleas to fuck you to his sex playlist. You do it mostly to humour him, though part of you is a little bit intrigued at the thought.
Stowed away in his room, he eats you out to the choruses of sultry The Weeknd and raunchy Ariana Grande songs, fucks you to the likes of the Neighbourhood and Kim Petras while you’re on all fours, and you’re only half-paying attention to the music until you hear it. Admittedly, you almost completely miss it but you blame Jungkook and the way he’s making you currently feel, sprawled out beneath him, chests pressed flush against one another in a sweaty, sticky mess, breathy and glorious moans of your name filling your ears when━
“I had no choice but to hear you. You stated your case time and again━”
The dulcet chime of Alanis Morissette thrums about the room, a complete and utter shift in contrast in the atmosphere that has you immediately pausing.
“Jungkook.” But he knows what you set out to say even before you do, judging by the tone in your voice and the stifling smirk on his face. You gawk at him, biting at your lip to hide your laughter but you fail miserably. “You weren’t joking?”
He shrugs innocently, leaving you just as dumbfounded as you were two seconds ago. Instead, he says, “Gotta do what I promised then, don’t I?”
You quirk a brow. “What was that exactly?”
“Gotta give you the best orgasm of your life.”
“If you can do that to cheesy 90s pop, I’ll have your actual babies, Jungkook.” The effort is endearing and impressive, to say the least.
A roll of your eyes is met with a taunting roll of his hips into yours that wipes the jest off your face immediately. He grins like a madman, uttering a little stupidly, and a little ardently, “Say no more.”
Because, all things considered and joking aside, he wants it with you ━ the dazed daydreamy talk of a future together and kids, friendship bracelets, and cuddles in the morning. Because you mean the world to him and more. Because you’re his best friend, and he’s so madly in love with you.
Because he wants it all with you.
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⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.
⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!
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akutashi · 3 years ago
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Haikyuu! Characters with Breeding Kinks
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Tags: 18+ MDNI, Breeding kink, unprotected sex, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of overstimulation (In Sugawara’s part), mentions of public sex (In Atsumu’s part)
Characters included: Oikawa, Sugawara, Miya twins
WC: 700 (in total)
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TORU OIKAWA
I think he always kind of had it but it wasn’t as prominent in the beginning.
He seems like the type who just needs the satisfaction of seeing not only you pregnant with his child but seeing his features passed down onto his kids.
The thought of hearing someone be like “what a beautiful child! They have your (insert any kind of feature here)!”
He was probably raised on how important it is to care for both friends and family and how important they are so of course he would want a full happy family.
After you guys have started dating for a good amount of time his family takes a liking to you.
This leads to you being asked to watch Takeru frequently in your free time. 
We all know how much Oikawa loves his nephew Takeru.
So seeing two people he loves so much get along makes him ecstatic. 
You’re so loving towards him. Oikawa starts to wonder how you would be with a child of your own. I think that’s the moment where it clicks for him. 
So one day you walk into your shared apartment and he quickly grabs you and drags you into the bedroom.
“ I’m gonna make you feel so good.” He inserts himself inside of you.
“You’re going to look so good when I fuck some children into you,” He growls before releasing inside you. 
KOSHI SUGAWARA
I feel like it’s typical to branch this off from his job oop
But let’s be honest from those years of watching over the volleyball team and now working with kids. 
And he wants one of those kids he loves to be one of his own. 
After dating him for a few years, you give him the hypothetical. 
“Koshi, what if we settled down?” he almost spits out his drink “like marriage, house and kids settle down?” He can’t believe his ears, you nodded. 
You giggle as you nod and he’s silent, jaw agape. “You know Koshi if you don’t love me and don’t want to you can say no,” you pouted teasing him.
He gets up wrapping his arm around your waist and whispering in your ear “oh baby you don’t know what you just did,” He growled.
Suga is a pleaser the man is eating you out for what feels like hours and hours non stop. You’re so overstimulated. You’ve came so many times at this point you’re an incoherent mess. 
Lining himself up with your entrance after what feels like an eternity “You’re going to take my seed like a good girl, hm?”
All you could do is nod as he thrusted into you.
ATSUMU MIYA
Him and Osamu are constantly at each other’s throats.
He wants to be better and it’s not just at volleyball if you catch my drift.
He wants to fill you up whenever he gets the chance whether it’s in the comfort of your own bed or somewhere a little more public. He loves public because the hope of his essence dripping down your thigh and someone possibly seeing it just gets him going.
He’s done this a few times in the bathroom of Osamu’s restaurant while visiting, bringing you into the bathroom with him, locking the door and hoisting you up onto the sink.
“You gotta be quiet unless you want everyone hearing you, eh?”
It’s the mix of excitement he gets from the public place plus the added thrill of knowing it was in a place where his brother has succeeded so well in.
OSAMU MIYA
Similar reasons as Atsumu tbh.
Osamu is a little more laid back than Atsumu so he isn’t as show-off-y as Atsumu is with it. 
One night as he’s thrusting into you you wrap your legs around him, pulling him closer to your body and you whimper “ ‘Samu please I want to feel you fill me up, cum in me.”
As pleased as he is to hear these words he’s still like :o . 
He regains his composure and starts slamming into you.
He lets out a groan before releasing into you he waits a few seconds then pulls out to make sure nothing spills out.
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jikookiekosmos · 4 years ago
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Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait || jjk
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➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, boyfriend!jungkook/reader, artist!jungkook
➥Summary: After surprising Jungkook with his own studio room for his paintings, he couldn’t be any more over the moon. All’s well and good until he’s struggling to find inspiration...which you happily provide him with. He’s ecstatic to find his muse in you, and painting your portrait brings him so much joy. Things take a turn however, when he suddenly realizes what else he wants to paint.
➥Genre: established relationship, tiny bit of angst if you squint, fluff, smut
➥Rating: 18+
➥Words: ~7.9k (small drabbles don’t exist for me apparently, oops)
➥Content warnings: most of this at the beginning is just cute fluff domestic times (finally not much angst!), blonde jungkook, jk ties his hair up at some point (my weakness), jk puts paints on the reader, making out, slight hair pulling, cursing, shower sex times, jungkook has a big dick, oral (m. receiving), very slight mouth fucking, dirty talk, fingering (very brief), unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), biting, cumming inside, cute times in the shower, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops
A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! Their relationship will make a lot more sense though if you’ve read OFY beforehand. This fic takes place roughly around six months after the events of OFY (so in between that and the dream drabble I also posted).
Once again, thank you to @dntaewithluv​ for her endless support and always giving me feedback, I forever appreciate you and your friendship is more than I could ever ask for 💜
I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:
When I Dream of You - ~1 year after OFY
Stay With Me - a few months after the dream drabble
Also, I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~
➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)
➥Series Masterlist
➥All Works Masterlist
taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn​
⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰
You would do absolutely anything in the world for Jeon Jungkook.
Seeing him happy had to be at the top of your list of favorite things in the world, as it had been for many years as his best friend, and now in the several months since the two of you started dating. Some things just never changed, you guessed.
Which is why you took it upon yourself to change one of the spare rooms in the house you two were renting into a space where he could thrive as the artist he was. Initially, the two of you thought it would be nice to use that space as a work area for you, since your job required you to sometimes do work from home. And for a little while, that’s exactly what you did.
But ever since you found out Jungkook liked to paint – scratch that, he loved to paint, and had been doing so for longer than you thought – the gears started turning in your head.
The current space he was using to create his art was definitely less than ideal. The house had a decent sized garage area, so there was enough room for him to store his supplies and be able to paint without it being too much of an issue. The downside, though, was it was cramped and even though Jungkook said he didn’t mind it, you still couldn’t help the frown from masking your features whenever you saw him huddled up so close to his easel.
For the last few weeks, and with lots of help from internet searches, you’d been slowly converting your space into something like a studio. You didn’t have to worry about Jungkook finding out, either, since he very rarely went into that room seeing as he had no reason to. He respected your privacy the same as you respected his, so this made everything infinitely easier for you in the long run.
The day had finally arrived where you would show the new space to Jungkook. Everything was set up as perfect as you could manage it – at least you hoped so – and you were dying of excitement to show him as soon as possible.
You were also, however, incredibly nervous at the same time. What if he didn’t like it? Even worse, what if he hated it?
Of course, you knew deep down that there was no way Jungkook could hate anything you ever did, unless it was something horrible, but you worried about everything because that’s just how you were. So, when the two of you were sitting at the dinner table one night, you tried hard to swallow the lump in your throat as you listened to Jungkook talk about his newest work.
“I really think you’re gonna like how this one turns out, angel.” Jungkook was offering you a sweet smile as he went to grab another bite of food from his plate. You managed to smile back, despite the hammering of your heart against your chest. He was basically handing you the perfect opening for you to segue the conversation!
“I know I’ll love it, Koo.” You watched as his small smile turned into a full grin, his nose scrunching up in that adorable way that had you falling in love with him all over again every time you saw it.
“Speaking of your paintings,” you started off, clearing your throat while he swallowed down his food. He looked at you with his undivided attention and it made your heart skip a beat.
Ok let’s be real, every damn thing this man did made your heart skip a beat.
“Yeah? What about them?” He twirled more of the noodles around his fork while he waited on your answer.
You gulped. “Wouldn’t you like it if you had more space?”
Jungkook chuckled and placed his fork down, shaking his head as he placed on hand on top of yours that was still resting by your plate. You’d barely touched your food and he noticed.
“Baby,” he started, “as much as I would love to have a bigger space, what I have now is just fine. I know you think it’s stifling my creativity in there, but I’m still creating things and am comfortable.” He squeezed you hand gently before returning to his food.
“I get that you think the garage is fine but what if I told you that- that you could have a bigger workspace.” You finally picked up your fork and were poking around at your own food now, avoiding his gaze. You could feel his stare boring into you regardless, though.
“I mean – yeah, hypothetically I could have more space, but it’s not in the cards for us right now and that’s ok, too. Maybe one day.”
The way he always was optimistic about your future together made you feel warm all over. Jungkook liked to look on the bright side of every situation, and it’s been enough to help you keep your own wits about yourself numerous times now.
But this time you wanted to show him that the future could be closer than he realized.
“Koo, can you come with me real quick? I have something I want to show you.”
You didn’t miss the confused look that flashed across his face for a second before his calm demeanor took over again.
“Of course.” He hopped up from the table, that smile you adored now plastered on his face. “Lead the way.”
“Ok but I also need you to close your eyes.” You reached out to take his hand and were rewarded with an eyebrow raise.
He hummed thoughtfully but did as you asked, closing his eyes and grasping your hand tighter so you could lead him wherever you planned to.
You walked through the house pulling him behind you, feeling your heartbeat quicken with every step to where its pace was almost concerning. Whether or not it was mostly from excitement or nervousness, you weren’t sure.
You finally reached your destination and let go of his hand so you could open the door.
“Keep your eyes closed, ok,” you asked. Jungkook simply nodded and you saw a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He had no idea what you were about to show him, but knowing you and how much he loved pretty much anything you did, he was sure it’d probably make him happy.
And he couldn’t have been more correct in his assumption.
At the quiet sound of you telling him he could open his eyes he did so, slowly at first, blinking to adjust to the light the now flooded over the both of you. It took him several seconds to register exactly what he was seeing, and when he did he couldn’t speak. All he could do was stare around the room, mouth agape.
Decorating the walls were the paintings he had given you, beautiful works of various sizes and themes. Alongside the far wall was a tall shelf that housed all his supplies (how had you managed to get them past him without him noticing?), and even some new things like paints he’d been eyeing for a while and other tools he hadn’t had a chance to get himself yet.
But in the middle of the room stood his easel and chair, set up in the similar fashion as it had been in the garage. His apron was draped across the back of the chair, and there was even tarp laid out underneath the workspace. You research had paid off because everything was set up in such a way that it created the perfect atmosphere for Jungkook’s creativity to shine through in ways it hadn’t been able to before.
You weren’t aware of this yet, however, because you were still watching Jungkook’s reaction. He still hadn’t said anything, and as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, you started to wonder if this was the right call-
Strong arms were pulling you up from the ground and spinning you around before you could process it, making you squeal with delight as Jungkook twirled you before bringing you back down to pepper kisses all over you face.
“Angel, I can’t believe this, you did all this for me?” He was still holding onto your hips tightly, beaming as he looked down at you. Your nod and giggle was all the confirmation he needed before he pulled you into another kiss, this one slightly more heated than the ones before.
“Do you like it,” you questioned when the both of you pulled away to breathe. Jungkook laughed before taking your face in his hands and brushing his nose along yours.
“Do I like it? Baby, I love it. It’s perfect! Thank you so much.” Another kiss. “I love it and I love you, I love you so fucking much.”
His happiness made your heart soar and you definitely knew that you’d do something like this an infinite amount of times if it meant he’d keep that smile on his face.
⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰
A few weeks passed by and Jungkook had been using his new studio nearly everyday at this point. His creations had been increasing in numbers and he was starting to receive commissions from others thanks to his small online shop he’d set up with your help. He still worked at the bar as his primary job, but he was also grateful to have a hobby on the side that could potentially yield something lucrative.
Of course, Jungkook’s increase in his time spent on his art still didn’t take away from his time with you. If anything, it gave the both of you another way to spend time together, since now there was enough space for you to sit in and observe him paint when you couldn’t before. You often sat quietly and either did some of your own work or engaged in your own hobbies while he painted, and it was always peaceful.
There came a day, though, that you never thought you’d experience: Jungkook had run out of inspiration. He’d hit his first real artist’s block and it was taking a bigger toll on him than he would’ve liked.
You rubbed his shoulders as he sat in front of his easel one night, groaning in frustration about his current work. “It’s not turning out at all like I want it to. I’ve been struggling with finding new inspiration and it clearly shows in whatever this is.” He vaguely gestured to the canvas, prompting you to place a kiss on his cheek as you ran your hand through his pretty blonde hair. You knew that always helped to calm him down and this case was no exception.
Jungkook sighed heavily, turning to place a kiss on your palm that was still lingering around his face. “Sorry, I don’t mean to get worked up. It just sucks, you know? I’d been on this really good streak of creating things and now I just…can’t. It’s weird and I don’t like it.” He pouted slightly and the sight made you giggle.
“I know, baby, but you’ll figure something out. You always do.” You placed a kiss on top of his head before you walked around to sit on his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and one of his hands cradled your waist to steady you.
He was humming thoughtfully as he looked you up and down, your hands now playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.
“What are you thinking about?”
He smiled slyly. “You.”
You rolled you eyes before returning the smile. “Ok, what about me? I’m curious.”
His hand was rubbing up and down your side. “Nothing in particular, just usually looking at you can help me with inspiration.”
His confession made you gasp. “Really?”
He nodded and smiled wider. “Really. You inspire me a lot.” He placed a chaste kiss on your lips before sighing again. “This time though it’s not really working like I’d hoped.”
You watched his eyes close and his brows furrow before an idea popped into your head. “Hey,” you reached down to tilt his chin up so he’d look at you, “It might be a long shot, but: have you ever considered painting portraits?”
He pursed his lips as he thought about it. The simple act made you want to kiss him but now wasn’t the time.
“Honestly…no. I’ve never thought about it before because I usually prefer to paint scenery.”
You searched his eyes as you asked your next question. “Well, if you want to try, maybe you could paint me? Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, maybe it can help spark a new idea or something?”
You watched as his eyes slowly lit up at your suggestion, his face morphing into a smile that you mirrored.
“That’s a great idea! It’s something new and it also includes you, so I already love it.” You chuckled in his lap as he hugged you closer, placing a small kiss on your neck. “Thank you.”
You ran your hands through his hair again before leaning back. “Anything for you. Do you want to start now?”
He thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, we can do that. Is there, uh – was there something specific you wanted to wear for it?”
You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. “Are you suggesting you want to paint a nude portrait?”
Even though Jungkook knew your body better than you did at this point, your words still managed to make him blush as he groaned. “No, I wasn’t thinking that- not that I’d mind of course just you know, whatever makes you comfortable-”
You laughed at his flustered nature before hopping off his lap. “You’re so cute. I’ll go find something to change into, it shouldn’t take long.”
“R-right,” he stuttered, still clearly somewhat affected by what you had said. You shook your head with amusement as you went to your bedroom to find something to wear. You settled for a purple dress that you knew Jungkook loved, and considering a lot of his paintings involved shades of purple and blue, you figured it would be perfect.
You knew you made the right choice when you stepped back into the room and saw Jungkook’s face when his eyes fell on you. He looked like he’d never seen someone so beautiful (he looked at you like that a lot and it always did something to you) and your lips curled upwards into a smile before you could realize it.
You stopped in the doorway and twirled, giving him a full view of the dress. “Is this ok?”
You already knew the answer, but it was always nice to hear him say it.
He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it’s perfect. You can, uh, you can take a seat whenever you’re ready.”
While you were changing, Jungkook had pulled one of the loveseats from the living room into the space so you’d have somewhere to sit or lay while he painted you. The loveseat was a dark blue color and it contrasted beautifully against the color of your dress. You decided to lay on it in a comfortable pose, and you couldn’t help the small giggle you let out at Jungkook’s reaction to your choice.
You had laid an arm behind your head, turning your face so you were looking at him while the rest of your body was sprawled out on the loveseat. One of your legs dangled over the side, making the skirt of your dress hike up somewhat. You were very comfortable, and Jungkook was very happy with your pose.
“Make it pretty, ok,” you joked with him. He smirked at your comment.
“You know I will. I’ll use my best colors, just for you.”
“Wow, I feel special,” you quipped back. You were rewarded with the sound of his beautiful laughter as it echoed off the walls.
“You’re the most special,” he admitted honestly. You gave him a brilliant smile and he felt his heart stutter.
With the way you were looking at him, Jungkook thought that if he didn’t start painting, he may never start. So, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from you so he could find the paints he needed to get started. He tied up his hair, a few of the blonde strands escaped and framed his face but he didn’t seem to mind it too much as he got to work.
Thankfully, since you’d chosen a good position, the process was easier than you thought it would be. You just had to lie there and watch him work, which you happily did. You enjoyed watching his face scrunch up in concentration before relaxing again as he brushed stroke after stroke onto the canvas.
You were so beyond proud of him that it made your heart swell inside your chest.
Jungkook had been painting for a little over half an hour before he announced it was time to take a break. He could paint for hours on end without stopping, but that was when he didn’t have a live subject he was working with. He walked over to you with a bottle of water so you could sip from it without having to disturb your position too much.
You sat up slightly so you could drink, and while you did so, one of your dress straps started falling down your arm. Jungkook immediately went to move it back into place, but as he did, he couldn’t help but stare at the dark contrast of the purple satin against your skin. He thought it was so pretty, and his mind started wandering to how the paint itself might look-
He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. He may have been covered in paint himself, but that didn’t mean he needed to go putting paint on you.
When you were re-situated on the loveseat once more, Jungkook strolled back over to this easel. Unfortunately, since that thought of you covered in paint first took up residence inside his head, he now found it hard to focus on anything else. While he stared at you to try and resume your portrait, he just kept picturing you with painted streaks covering your skin instead.
You must have noticed he was distracted because soon you were calling over to him. “Kook? Is something wrong?”
He gulped and shook his head. “No, nothing’s wrong! You’re doing great, baby.”
“Do you need me some other way?”
Such a simple statement and yet it was stirring something inside of him. Asking him if he needed you a certain way ignited that desire to once again paint you and he found himself unable to hold back from asking anymore.
“Yeah, I uh, I wanted to try something.” You were confused when he got up and started walking toward you, only carrying his paint supplies. At first you thought maybe he just wanted to get closer, but he didn’t bring the easel with him.
“What are you wanting to try,” your voice was laced with curiosity. He gave you a shy smile.
“I was just thinking about how pretty it would be,” he looked down at the floor then back up at your face before he continued, “if I used you as a canvas instead.”
You felt your breath hitch in your throat at the request. Jungkook was asking to paint you, not paint you on a portrait, but to paint you. The suggestion intrigued you a lot more than you thought it would, which is ultimately what led to you nodding your agreement. “I think I’d like to try that, too.”
Jungkook’s face broke into such a dazzling smile that excited you to no end. You watched as he pulled his chair close to you, as well as some tarp to place around the area. When he was situated where he wanted to be, he dipped his brush into some of the purple paint on his palette and gently lifted your arm. The feeling of the paint as it brushed along your arm was foreign but not unwelcome. There was something about it that was almost calming.
You were now also recalling all the times you’d told Jungkook how pretty he looked even covered in paint. The pretty colors contrasting with his beautiful, golden skin tone never failed to take your breath away no matter how many times you saw it. You wondered briefly if this is what he was experiencing now as he took his time painting your skin.
He was focusing on your with such intensity and taking great care to only get the paint where he wanted it, so as to not stain certain parts of you or your dress. The sight of his caution made that familiar warmth bloom in your chest again.
He took his time painting beautiful designs along your arm before moving down to paint on your thighs and legs. He was alternating between purple and blue hues now, and the swirling patterns reminded you a lot of his tattoos that you adored. You had spent many nights lying next to him in bed, tracing the lines of his tattoos until you were too sleepy to keep it up. Seeing the patterns against your own skin briefly made you think about if you would ever want to get a tattoo. Before you put too much thought into it, your attention was pulled back to Jungkook who was sitting up now and admiring his work.
The time had passed by much quicker than you anticipated, and it was starting to get dark outside as the light was no longer filtering in through the windows of the room.
He seemed satisfied as he nodded and smiled. “Wait here, I’ll be right back. Stay just like this,” he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before leaving the room. When he returned, he had his coveted polaroid camera in his hands. Jungkook was also big into photography, and every one of his hobbies suited him perfectly in some way.
“Is it ok if I take a photo of you, baby?”
You grinned and nodded, being careful not to move too much from your current position. He snapped the photo and the polaroid was printing immediately after. When he pulled it from the camera, he laid it down on the table next to his easel so it could develop properly.
Jungkook wiped his hands off on his apron before taking it off and drawing his attention back to you. He could stare at you like this all day, but he knew it would probably be best to get you both cleaned up and paint-free.
He offered a hand for you so he could help pull you off the loveseat. When you were up fully, he wrapped his arms around you, careful to not get any of his exposed, paint-covered skin on your dress.
“You look so beautiful like this,” he murmured softly, brushing some of your hair out of your face as his eyes scanned up and down your body to admire his creation. “And as much as I love seeing it, we should probably get this paint off soon. When it dries too much, it can be a bitch to scrub off, and I don’t want that for you.”
You chuckled at that and simply nodded your head. You’d been lying there for nearly 2 hours at this point, so you were pretty tired and ready to just relax for the night.
The two of you hopped into the shower shortly after, helping each other rid your bodies of the remnants of paint covering you both. You always loved taking showers with Jungkook, because whether or not it was a short, regular shower, or one shared after a night of intimacy, these moments were some that you cherished the most and wouldn’t change for the world.
You got lost in the feeling of Jungkook scrubbing shampoo into your hair, letting out soft noises as your eyes slipped closed.
Your noises always threatened to drive Jungkook crazy, and this time was no exception. He couldn’t deny the stirring of his cock as he listened to the little moans slipping from your mouth at such a simple action.
Of course, since he was so close to you, there was no way you didn’t feel him. His cock was hardening against your thigh, and the fact that you were turning him on by not doing much turned you on.
You could feel the wetness start to slip past your folds, but you decided to not make any moves yet, wondering how far you could take this before either of you snapped. You knew that teasing him was one of the quickest ways to get Jungkook riled up.
“Feels so good, Koo,” you shamelessly moaned out as he kept massaging the shampoo into your hair. You heard him let out a small grunt at your deliberate words, feeling him twitch against your thigh as he got harder.
You leaned your head back to give him a better view of your neck, since you knew he loved to mark you up there. His hands were starting to tangle in your hair, but he took care to not pull too hard as he brought his attention back to the task(s) at hand.
He was currently focusing on two things: 1) getting the rest of the shampoo out of your hair, and 2) not fucking you up against the shower wall. Doing the first thing was currently keeping him from acting on the second, but you certainly weren’t helping with that.
Your head lolled around on your neck, your eyes still closed as your sounds got louder. He knew you were messing with him now, so as retaliation he pulled on your hair a little tighter, making you gasp.
“You’re doing this on purpose, angel,” you could hear the dark tone of his voice over the waterfall in the shower clearly, and it just made you more aroused. You chanced opening your eyes to look at him, and the sight you were met with made you moan louder, this time without trying.
Jungkook was staring at you, mouth slightly parted as he let out pants of his own, his blonde, soaked tresses falling in his face and covering his eyes. His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he tugged on your hair again, making you reach out to place your hands on his chest.
“You’re teasing me to get me worked up, hm?” All you could do was nod, his husky voice and the feeling of his hand wrapped in your hair making you wetter by the second. There was no use in playing coy any longer. You wanted him, and he wanted you.
The question now was: who would make the first move?
You realized that you wanted to be the one to make the first move, so you did.
“So, what if I am,” you asked sweetly, wrapping your hand around his length and pumping him slowly. His eyes closed and he leaned his forehead against your shoulder, fingers now digging into your waist.
“You know what happens when you do that,” Jungkook warned. You absolutely knew what happened, and you definitely wanted it to happen.
“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe you should enlighten me.” You teased him as you gently nibbled on his earlobe, increasing your pace as you continued to stroke him. You heard him let out a soft moan against your shoulder as he placed a kiss there.
With no more hesitation, you turned him slightly and sank down to your knees in front of him, delighted by how his cock jerked in your hold when you steadied it with your hand.
Jungkook stared at you wide-eyed as you started moving your hand around his shaft before placing a gentle kiss on his tip, the prettiest groan falling from his lips. “Fuck, Y/N, are you sure you want to do this?”
You peeked up at him as you fluttered your eyelashes, knowing that seeing you like this always aroused him beyond belief. You continued moving your hand in slow, languid strokes, and he was almost fully hard now.
He let his head hit the wall behind him, soft curses and praises for you tumbling from his mouth. 
Seeing him like this had to be near the top of the list of your favorite sights to ever witness. And right then is when you figured it’d be the perfect time to surprise him. Without a warning you opened your mouth and took all of him in that you could reach.
Jungkook’s reaction was immediate.
“Hey wait what are y- oh my God, fuck.” His loud moan echoed off the walls of the room, causing a fresh wave of arousal to pool between your thighs. You sucked harder as you hollowed out your cheeks, ignoring the way your throat constricted around him.
“Y/N, shit, you feel so good, your mouth- fuck, angel, I don’t want to hurt you,” Jungkook was panting hard above you, eyes shut and brows furrowed, jaw slack as he unabashedly continued to moan at your actions. He was reaching behind him to try and hold something, but the smooth wall had nothing to offer him. His fingers were slipping against the tile, so he gave up and instead settled for clenching and unclenching his fists.
You pulled off him with a pop, a string of saliva left in your wake. You smiled up at him as you kept stroking him, not wanting his pleasure to disappear in the slightest.
“You won’t hurt me, Koo,” you reassured him, earning another groan from the man falling apart under your touch. He twitched in your hold, and you stuck your tongue out again to run it along the underside of his length. 
Jungkook chanced looking down at you, only to look up at the ceiling a moment later while he muttered a strained “holy shit.” 
“C’mon baby, don’t you want to look at me,” you taunted him as your tongue played with the head of his cock, swirling around him. The low groans coming from above you let you know that he enjoyed that a lot.
“Fuck, angel, I-” Jungkook’s sentence died as a moan ripped itself from his throat when you surged back down to take all of him in again. This time you continued moving, feeling the tears in the corners of your eyes but not stopping.
It wasn’t like you’d never sucked him off like this before, seeing as it was one of your favorite activities, after all. But it was a rare occasion where Jungkook would let you take all of him in one go for fear of hurting you. So, you took these chances whenever they presented themselves, and the reward was always, always worth it.
Tears along with the water droplets from the shower were coating your face but you didn’t care. All of your focus was on Jungkook and how he was trying so hard to restrain himself above you. You watched his fists clench and unclench and you could feel himself struggle to keep his hips from moving forward so he didn’t fuck your mouth.
Yeah, you weren’t having that. You wanted him to let go, wanted him to know that it was ok, that you wanted this. You reached out to grab one of his hands and placed it in your hair, relishing in the way his fingers immediately tangled themselves into the wet strands. You pulled your mouth off of him again, but not before letting your tongue drag slowly across every inch of him.
You looked up at him again as you pumped him leisurely, waiting until he brought his gaze down to stare at you, only for him to quickly close his eyes again.
“God, I can’t look at you, like I want to, fuck do I want to, but you look so fucking good like this, I’m not gonna last-”
You always found his stammering to be cute and you didn’t want to torture him too much longer. Deciding that you’d teased him enough, you took all of him into your mouth again, intertwining your fingers with his unoccupied hand and giving it a squeeze. The intimacy of this particular action was always enough to get both of you going, and it had Jungkook’s hips stuttering as you sucked hard.
“Fuck, baby, always take me so good like this. Always so good for me, I love you, fuck,” he was groaning as his head hit the wall behind him again, his hold in your hair tightening the same moment you felt him buck his hips like you’d been wanting all this time.
Unfortunately, for you, whenever Jungkook would fuck your mouth, no matter how much you wanted to sit there and take it without issue, his size always proved to be too big for you to handle and it had you coughing around his length in no time. Which, of course, always made Jungkook stop what he was doing before either of you had the chance to enjoy it much.
“Fuck, baby, I’m so sorry, are you ok?” Jungkook pulled you up while you kept coughing, brushing the wet strands of hair out of your face and looking at you with worry. You nodded and tried to reassure him, wanting to get back on your knees for him, but he held you in place.
“You don’t want me to continue,” you asked, your voice a little more hoarse than usual thanks to what your throat had just endured.
Jungkook shook his head. “No, angel, it’s not that. If you do keep going, I’ll cum in no time.” He brushed some of the water away from under your eyes, not knowing if it was tears or from the shower. He bent down to place a rough kiss on your lips, such a contrast from how his hands caressed your face.
“I want to be inside of you when that happens,” he murmured against you, gently biting down on your bottom lip and pulling a whine from you, in turn causing more wetness to gush between your legs. “If you’ll let me, of course.”
You almost laughed. “Koo, you know I’ll let you do anything at this point.”
He chuckled. “That’s a dangerous admission, baby. You sure about that?”
You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “Of course I’m sure. I’d let you do anything you want because I trust you. Because I love you,” it was your turn to kiss him this time, and it was filled with so much passion it nearly made him dizzy. Jungkook could never get tired of the feeling of your lips against his, of hearing you say that you loved him, of feeling your skin pressed against each other during times like these.
Jungkook was hooked on you and he never wanted to go back to a time where he wasn’t.
You pulled him out of his thoughts as you tugged on some of his hair, earning a delicious sounding grunt from him. You whispered your next snarky comment right by his ear.
“You gonna fuck me now, baby?”
Your bluntness had his cock quickly stirring back to life after it had softened some during your coughing incident. He growled low and dark as he started placing love bites on your collarbone.
“Sure you don’t want me to return the favor first, angel?” He was marking up your skin while he asked this, so you almost didn’t realize what he was asking specifically but then it dawned on you.
“As much I love seeing you with your head between my legs,” you responded, tugging on his hair again, “I’d rather have you fuck me up against this wall.”
He moaned against your collarbone, the action vibrating your skin. He pulled off of you and brought your lips to his in a filthy kiss. “Your wish is my command.”
Jungkook lifted you up then by placing his hands under your ass and you got the message, wrapping your legs around him as he held you up. He turned so your back was against the wall, the only things now holding you up being his strong arms and the smooth tile behind you.
He first plunged two fingers inside you without a warning, making you let out a silent scream. He smirked at the way you clenched around his fingers, scissoring them before pulling them out again. You whined at the loss and he shushed you with a gentle kiss on your nose.
“Had to make sure you’re ready, baby.” He had one arm wrapped around your waist, trapped in between your back and the shower wall. With his now free hand, he lined himself up with your entrance, moaning when the tip of his cock was sucked in by your velvety walls.
“Fuck, you already feel so good and I’m barely in yet,” he clenched his jaw as he sank further into you inch by inch. When he finally bottomed out and was filling you up in the best way possible, you clenched around him to tease him further, making him curse.
“Watch it, angel,” he growled. “You’re gonna make it very hard for me to not blow it if you keep doing that, and I want you there with me when I do.”
“Then I guess you’d better start moving,” you teased, wrapping your arms more tightly around his neck. You knew what was coming next; Jungkook would put you exactly in your place, just like you wanted. And for that you needed to hold on tight for dear life because that man could rock you like nothing ever had before.
Jungkook grabbed your hips firmly in his hold as he fucked up into you, making sure you were held against the wall and weren’t in danger of falling down as he did so. Despite this, each thrust had you sliding more up the wall until he would bring you back down again. When he found a pace that was he was sure he could resume without either of you getting hurt, he finally let go.
To say you saw stars would be an understatement. Jungkook was fucking you with so much vigor that you weren’t just seeing stars, you were sure you were seeing entire galaxies. Your sounds kept dying out on your tongue because the feeling was so overwhelming and it had your trembling around him in no time.
“Can’t make any sounds when I’m fucking you this good, angel?” Jungkook was taunting you now and quite frankly, he was right, he was fucking you so good that you were finding it hard to say anything. And the mixture of his dirty words with the sweet pet name you adored had you clenching even tighter around him, causing him to groan loudly and grip your waist tighter.
You eventually found your voice again when Jungkook hit a certain spot inside of you, pulling an embarrassingly loud whine from your throat. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, tears almost brimming in your eyes once again at how good he felt.
“Fuck, Jungkook, feels so good, oh my God-” your praises made him twitch inside you as he moved his hands now from your waist to hold you up by cupping your ass, squeezing tightly in time with his thrusts. He was bouncing you up and down on his cock now with his strength alone, and the thought of it made your orgasm start to approach at an alarmingly fast rate.
“I love feeling you so close like this, I love you, so fucking much, shit-” Jungkook cut himself off as threw his head back to get his hair out of his face, careful not to let his balance falter or his grip slip on you. He had to do it though because his hair was keeping him from seeing your face now that you were leaning your head back against the wall, and he couldn’t have that.
“I love you, Jungkook, I’m close, fuck,” you were breathing hard as you couldn’t control your moans any longer, eyes squeezed shut and tears falling from just how much pleasure you were receiving and also how much you loved this man. Jungkook was the man you’d loved for so many years before you were finally able to call him yours. He always took care of you in every aspect of life, and you reciprocated it as best you could. And it was because of this kind of love you two had for each other that made these intimate times all the more meaningful. You were sitting here, back up against a shower wall in the arms of the man you loved while he rearranged your guts, and it was such an emotional experience alongside being a pleasurable one that the tears actually made sense.
Jungkook bit down on your shoulder and pulled you out of your reverie, making you cry out as he muffled his own sounds against your skin. You could tell by his thrusts that he was getting close now, his grunts happening more frequently and louder, echoing off the tiled shower walls. The water had already started to get cold but neither of you cared. Nothing outside of the two of you existed in this moment, and that was exactly how you liked it.
“Touch yourself for me, baby, I’m close, want you to be there with me,” Jungkook breathed out, his grip on your ass harsher now and you were sure there’d be marks tomorrow. You loved it when he marked you up, and even though he always felt slightly bad about it, you knew Jungkook loved seeing the marks, too.
You obeyed his command and reached down to rub your clit, nearly shrieking at the new wave of pleasure that washed over you. The sensations on your clit, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside of you, the way he was holding you, and all the things he was saying to you was enough to finally push you over the edge.
“Jungkook, I’m cumming, fuck-” you barely had time to utter out your warning before you were cumming hard around his length, your body spasming as he held you through it.
He sped up then, chasing his own high now, the feeling of your walls clenching around him making his eyes roll back. “Fuck, I can feel you, always so perfect for me, I’m close-”
His eyes were closed now so he didn’t see you reach for him. You pulled him closer so you could kiss him, hoping to help him along this way, swallowing down every beautiful sound he was making. “C’mon Koo, cum for me, wanna feel you fill me up.”
“Fuuuuck,” he moaned out, loud and long as that was the last thing he needed to get him there. His hips stuttered a few more times before you felt him twitch and fill you up, just like you wanted. Because gravity was working against you due to your current position, you could feel some of it dripping out of you despite Jungkook still being inside of you. The feeling made you scrunch up your nose, and the action made Jungkook laugh and mumble out ‘cute’ as he placed a kiss on the tip of your nose.
He pulled out of you carefully before moving you away from the wall so he could set you down on your feet. Your legs were a little wobbly, so he let you brace yourself against him as he helped you clean up.
The water was nearing a very uncomfortable cold temperature, but the both of you would rather endure that than leave the shower without cleaning off completely. After the workout you both had, there was nothing more you wanted than to curl up with each other in the bed.
After helping each other get clean again, and stealing quite a few kisses while doing so, Jungkook helped you out of the shower since you still didn’t trust your legs and dried you off before taking care of himself. Your heart swelled at the sight of him as it always did when he would take care of you like this.
You just hoped that you were taking care of him in all the ways he needed as well. You were certainly trying your best and would continue to do so for the rest of your life.
Once you were both snuggled into bed, him with an arm under you and you with your face nuzzling against his chest, you broke the silence first.
“If that’s what happens when I let you put paint on me, we should do that more often.”
Jungkook, who was tracing invisible patterns on your back in between your shoulder blades, laughed so hard you shook along with him. When he finally calmed down, he was able to answer you. “I totally agree. Although, I don’t think that happened because I painted you. It happened because you-” he booped you on the nose “-teased me, knowing full well what happens when you do.”
You shrugged as best you could with his arms around you. “You love it, though.”
Jungkook chuckled. “Indeed I do.” He placed a kiss on the top of your head and resumed his earlier soothing tracing of patterns on your skin. You rested your cheek against his chest and could hear his heartbeat, slow and steady. The combined actions of his hands and the steady thrum of his heartbeat was enough to have slumber calling your name in a matter of minutes.
Jungkook had something more to say, however.
“Hey,” he called gently, making you look up at him with groggy eyes. He smiled at the sight. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For helping me. For being my muse. I’ve got more ideas now about what else to create, and I don’t think I could’ve gotten there without your help.”
You smiled at him before you placed your head down again and shut your eyes once more, breathing deeply. “You would’ve eventually. That’s just how you are. Maybe I sped up the process, but you would’ve done fine.”
“Perhaps,” he sighed and looked at the ceiling. His glance travelled down to look at your nearly sleeping form, laying on him calm and unbothered. Moments like these topped his list of favorite things, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.
“Goodnight, angel,” he murmured softly, not sure if you were asleep or not yet. You muttered something unintelligible back, but he knew you were telling him goodnight all the same, and it brought a smile to his face.
Jungkook wanted to tackle life with you, the good, the bad, all of it; he wanted to do it with you by his side. He wanted to make sure every day of your life from here on out was filled with happiness and love and everything you deserved in the world, just as you wanted to do the same for him. He knew you’d do anything for him, and he’d do anything for you.
Only for you.
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ohifonlyx33 · 3 years ago
Text
Maybe There Is A Way Home
so, this was going to be a brief hypothetical blurb about "what if" and it was going to be one maybe 2 paragraphs long with no effort put into it whatsoever. But then I started putting a little more effort into it...
And I guess I had a lot of feelings because OOPS I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE A SUPER ANGSTY PETERGWEN FIC WHERE GWEN STACY IS ALIVE IN ENGLAND BECAUSE OF ~NWH SPOILERS.
Sorry in advance if I did a bad job editing as I wrote. It's been a lot time since I wrote anything this long.
And yes, i named the London Boy Andrew.
-----
The first thing Peter does when he gets back to his world is go to visit Gwen's grave to tell her he met someone--himself, a couple of him-selves, actually--and that he saved someone special to one of his alternate selves. He'd saved the other Peter's Gwen.
But her grave isn't there. And neither is her father's.
He goes to fire escape outside her room, but her room is--well not quite empty, but uninhabited. The furniture was changed around, and there were things that hadn't been there before.
He finds another window to the house and catches a glimpse of Captain Stacy sitting in front of a TV.
His heart beats faster. Where is Gwen?
Reluctantly he knocks on the door, "Hey, Mrs. Stacy..." He makes up some excuse about his phone breaking and needing to get Gwen's address to send her something. He figures out she went to Oxford and still lives in London.
He flies over there without even packing. He almost doesn't need the plane to get there. He feels like he could have swum or swung there faster.
He gets there only to find that she's living with some guy... or at least it seems like they're headed home together. He's devastated and overjoyed at the same time. He hangs back without saying anything, but stares from a distance.
She sees him anyway. She always had a knack for noticing him when he felt invisible.
She says his name tentatively at first, but when he doesn't move, she yells his name more forcibly, like it's a swear word. She motions to the guy next to her to wait for her, and walks in a straight line over to him. When she demands to know why he's here, he says nothing.
He should leave, disappear, but he can't look away and his feet are frozen. Tears are forming in his eyes now, and she asks again more gently, adding after a while in silence that he's worrying her.
Finally his voice, shaking to keep from cracking, replies apologetically that he shouldn't have come here.
He turns around and turns the corner, but she follows him and grabs his arm. "Hey!"
Her solid corporeal form is enough to spin him back toward her and envelope her into his arms. He hugs her close and tries not to cry like a baby. He cries like a baby nonetheless.
"Peter, you're scaring me. What happened. Is it.. Is it Aunt May?"
"I just... missed you... I missed you, I missed you. So much. So so so much. And-- And you're here, look at you. You're here and you're safe."
"Peter, we broke up five years ago. I don't get it."
"Neither do I." he laughs some of his tears away. "I can't figure out why-"
She squints at him "Did you hit your head?"
He wipes his face, trying to compose himself. "No. No... You're right, right... and you have..."
"Andrew?"
"Right, right. Andrew. How long have you been, uh... how long have you been seeing..."
Then he notices Gwen looking past his shoulder.
"Gwen, you alright?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, Andrew. Peter this is..."
"Andrew, right. Cause you just said his name... Hey, I'm Peter... As you... you might have guessed. Cause she just said... Yeah. That's me."
Like an idiot, Peter offers his hand and hopes his face doesn't look too distraught.
"Right.... Peter." Andrew takes it suspiciously. "So how do you know Gwen?" A polite British smile veiling distrust.
Peter and Gwen share a glance. "High School," Gwen explains.
"Yeah, she saved my life more than once with science. Uh, in science class, I mean. Cause she's... You know... She's so smart. And I had no idea what I was doing... in high school."
"Right... Peter was kinda an idiot in high school."
"Hurtful."
"Mmm, but true," she quips, a cold edge in her voice, but the hint of a smile playing at the corner of her lips.
He shakes off the urge to grin at being put in his place by the living and breathing and still-brilliant Gwen Stacy, buries the pang of hurt that comes from knowing he'd hurt her, and turns his focus back to her boyfriend.
"Anyway, I'm very sorry to take your time, I didn't mean to... I just... I was... in town. You know, sight seeing... castles and stuff. And I thought I'd, you know, say hi. But I didn't mean to... I should get going. It was really good to see you Gwen. I'm glad your doing well. It was nice to meet you."
Peter tries to jump and pull the rip cord, desperately looking for the way out of this conversation, but to his surprise his parachute snags on Gwen Stacy's voice calling his name.
"Peter, wait." She looks at Andrew imploringly who looks confused but says nothing. "You.. you came all this way... You want to at least come in for a few minutes? It's cold."
"Oh... I... I really... Thanks, but I can't."
"The castles aren't going anywhere, mate." Andrew chimes in, projecting a level of confidence and security and trust that Peter is pretty sure means Andrew hates him.
---
Somehow Peter Parker finds himself in Gwen Stacy's flat. With her boyfriend. Being offered a beverage. "Do you have hot coco?"
She catches his reference and chuckles. "What am I, seventeen?"
"Chocolate house." he grins.
Gwen clarifies the inside joke for her current boyfriend, leaving out the part where she was dating Peter and hiding him in her room, and goes into the kitchen with Andrew behind her.
Peter waits in the living room for a few moments, contemplating how rude it would be if he just left without explanation.
Just as he's about to jump ship, Andrew comes in and explains that he has to pop out for a few minutes. Peter sees the clear signal in his eyes. A warning without words not to try anything with Gwen.
Gwen joins them a moment later with a mug in her hand. She stands uncomfortably next to Andrew as he kisses her on the cheek. "See you in a few," she assures him under her breath before he leaves.
"So you two--"
"Yeah, yeah. Took me a while to started dating after... But then I found Andrew, and he's great. We've been dating for a few months." She hands Peter the mug. "He's really sweet--"
"He seems ni--"
"He is. He is nice. Much nicer than you. Nice enough that when I asked for a few minutes alone with you, he was really understanding. So are you going to explain what is really going on before he gets back? Why are you here?"
"I..." He sputters around for a few minutes trying to figure out where to start. He lands on the couch, sets the mug down, and starts explaining the multiverse. "Okay so look, I'm minding my own business one day, right, and then suddenly there's this glowing orange portal and I went through to this alternate universe, right?"
"Wait seriously, you're telling me you saw some random portal and you just decided to step through it?"
"Yeah."
"Idiot... And you're saying the multiverse theory is-"
"Yeah. It's all true."
"I knew it!"
She sits and listens as he gives a brief recount of his story.
"I haven't run into myself, and I'm still living in the same apartment... So I'm pretty sure this is my timeline. Or at least I thought I was. Now I'm not so sure..." He lowers his gaze, and his voice, "There are a few pretty big changes since we saved Connors and Max."
"Changes? Like what?"
No answer. He gets up and paces.
"Like... Like..." He stares into her eyes and asks what he's dying to know, "Why did we break up? I just don't get it."
"Oh."
"Look, just assume I don't remember anything the last... 5 years or so. So what happened?"
Her voice gets quiet as she looks down at the mug he hasn't touched.
"That's what I would like to know. You... You never told me why. You were supposed to come to England, and you never showed up. You didn't bother to call or even answer my calls. You went totally silent. I had to call Aunt May to make sure you were actually still alive. I assumed it had something to do with with the pressure of saving people's lives, or maybe because you felt guilty about my dad's accident."
He takes that as a starting point to ask questions. Quickly he pieces together that her dad hadn't died fighting the Lizard. Instead he had been left paralyzed in an alternate version of events with Harry.
He sits back down, heavy from the ache in his chest "That's not how any of it happened in my timeline... But it sounds like.... like curing Dr. Connors and Max... fixed a lot of things."
"How was it different?"
His leg is bouncing anxiously, "You, um, you never went to Oxford."
"I stayed with you?"
He shakes his head. "Not exactly."
"Why?"
"Your dad... he got really hurt stopping Connors, not Harry. And he made me promise to leave you out of it--this life. He was... So I promised him before he... And I was worried you would get hurt next. Hurt because of me." He's on the verge of crying again.
"Peter..."
He looks at her once, eyes brimming with tears, then hangs his head, ashamed. "He died, Gwen-"
She keeps a brave face, but tears fill her eyes instantaneously as she connects the dots. "So you kept away."
"I kept trying. I kept pushing you away and pushing you away, until finally you pushed me away. You said we were on different paths, but I was still... I was going to follow you... "
"So what happened?" She holds her breath as they lock eyes and she sees the deep pain in his soul.
"Your dad was right... I should have stayed away. I'm sorry. I'm so... I'm so sorry. I shouldn't even be here."
She moves closer and puts a hand on his knee to stop him from getting up, whispering his name imploringly. "What else? What aren't you telling me?"
He buries his head in his hands, unable to look at her. But he feels her hand moving to his back and crumples under the weight of her touch. He confesses his guilt in a whisper. "I couldn't... I couldn't save you.
The blood drains from her face and tears start falling from her eyes as he pulls her into another hug and whispers, "I'm sorry" over and over, desperately, between his strained cries.
With some great effort she finds her voice. "It's not your fault."
---
When Andrew returns a minute later, he finds Gwen sitting alone on the couch, still crying. A cup of untouched hot cocoa on the table.
"He's gone?"
She nods. "He's the one that ghosted you, isn't he?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"And now I understand what he's been going through for the last five years. And I don't hate him anymore."
"You forgave him?"
She nods.
"You still love him." He states it as an incredulous fact.
She doesn't move, but her silence speaks volumes. Her eyes are apologetic when she dares to glance up at him.
He shifts his weight, crosses his arms, bracing himself. "What about him?"
She nods. "He would never say it. Not now. Not here like this..."
"I just want to know what it means."
"I don't know. I don't know what it means or what to do about it."
---
Two weeks later Peter Parker hears a knock at his door. No, his... fire escape? He opens the window in his bedroom as he pulls Gwen Stacy inside.
"Hi."
"What are you-?"
"Look, I know it's complicated. And it's going to be hard-"
"Gwen-" He tries to turn away but she keeps her face in front of his. "You shouldn't... you shouldn't have-"
"I know that you've been suffering for a long time-"
"You shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry, but-" "No, no, no... No." she insists, placing her body firmly in front of his. "Because Andrew had a lot of questions about us, and I told him I had to go find the answers without him. And climbing this fire escape was NOT easy, so you're going to listen."
She squares her shoulders and shoots him another deadly look, daring him to move her, knowing he wouldn't. Challenging him to try.
He clenches his jaw, but remains silent. When he breaks eye-contact, she knows she's won one fight.
"I came here because seeing you again... I can't help thinking... what if we have a shot at a second chance?"
"Yeah, a chance to do the right thing. To let you go this time." he says flatly.
"Or a chance to get our timing right. To learn from our mistakes."
"You risked your neck climbing a fire escape. To my window. What exactly have you learned?"
"That you can't avoid risk no matter what you choose! You have to choose what you value you more. You can risk it all and loose it all, or you can live your life regretting everything. Either way, it's a risk you have to face. It's the cost of being Spider-Man."
"I know that. I lost it all. I lost you. You. You were the cost Gwen. And I regretted that cost every day."
"What if we're meant to accept that risk though? Spider-Man takes risks every day, pursuing what he believes is right. And I love that about you. I just want a chance to do the same. Because I can't risk walking away again when we have another chance. Not when I still-"
She steps toward him, but he steps away. She hopes he doesn't notice her flinch. But she's hurt at the rejection.
"I learned... I learned to keep my distance. That was my mistake."
"See," she shakes her head in distaste, "that doesn't sound like a good moral of the story to me. That's a terrible lesson." One step closer. "Just awful, really."
Her attempt at a lighter tone is met with his dead silence. He's still lost in his grief and shame. But she thinks she sees a crack in his armor widening. If she can just get through...
She lowers her voice, resting a hand on his heart, eyes peering into his. "We all need people, Peter. It keeps us sane and human. And I know that you blame yourself for what happened, but you were not responsible for my--
"Yes, I was. Yes, I was... "
"No."
He moves her hand away, looking miserable, "Yes, Gwen. I was."
"You weren't. I'm sure I knew the risks that come along with dating Peter Parker. I signed up for them."
His whole body seems to react violently to her words, "See? See? That's exactly what got you killed. And I won't let that happen again. So just stop!"
She purses her lips and narrows her eyes and spits out his own name, scolding him. Mixed in with all the pain she's feeling, she feels a spark of indignation towards Peter for... for what really? For pushing her away? She knows he's only trying to keep her safe. Still, he's being stubborn. He's being cold. He won't listen. He's-
He's breaking down on the bed beside her.
"I can't- I- I can't. You don't understand how it felt to hold your body in my arms, to know it was my fault. You don't know how badly I-" he inhales sharply, like he's hurt.
Gwen breathes out a fearful "What?"
"...I wanted to die. Part of me did."
She realizes his armor is gone. His stony defense is all but ash. He's vulnerable now, and his fear is gripping him. And she's overwhelmed by his love for her. She falls to her knees in front of him, looking up at his crest-fallen face. She would give anything to make him happy again.
"I'm sorry." she whispers. "I'm sorry." She reaches to wipe the tears from his eyes, but he swats her hand away. She doesn't wince. She understands. This is scary for him. It's terrifying for her too, if she's honest.
"Don't."
But if Spider-Man could be brave enough to dive off the tallest buildings in New York and swing head-first into danger without a second thought, Gwen Stacy had another kind of courage. She would lay her heart out on the line time and time again. As long as she believed he loved her, she would stay by his side and help him fight his fears.
"This is our second chance to learn to be happy. Don't you want to be happy? "
He nods once. Barely. Then shakes his head. "I don't deserve it."
"Look at me, Peter. Look."
He meets her gaze with honest eyes full of love and fear. There he is.
"I'm here. I'm here and I'm alive. You did that. You fixed it. This is possible because of you. You saved me."
She reaches up wipes his tears away anyway. She kisses his tear stained cheeks and his eyes flutter closed. "Spider-man deserves a second chance to be happy. Don't we both?"
"I just want you to be happy."
"So don't push me away this time. Please."
Maybe this wouldn't work. Maybe the damage was already done. But Gwen is before his eyes, pleading for his love. And wrong or right, Peter is done resisting. The kiss is deep, full of emotions, tears, passion, fears. And for that moment it feels like just maybe...
Maybe there is a way home for them.
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ahundredtimesover · 4 years ago
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Boyfriend AU Fics | JJK
Covers all stories with JK as a boyfriend (dad JK fics here). Enjoy these stories and note the angst, fluff, and smut tags! (List will be updated every month’s end based on my monthly reads) 
The love swings + The love slides by @h2yeri (f, s)
Talk to me in Korean by @softyoongiionly (s)
Transparent by @kingsuckjin (s)
Feed me, fight me by @yeojaa (a, f, s)
Chapstick by @softyoongiionly (f, s) - idol jk
Hush by @aureumjeon (s) 
Drunken proof pt1 + pt2 by @v-hope (f) 
Fast and definitely furious by @parkmuse (s)
Golden hour by @tteokggukk (s)
Untitled by @junghelioseok (f, s)
Photographs by @honeyedhoseok (a, f)
Hurts good by @mercurygguk (a, f, s)
Stay gold by @yeojaa (s)
Contentment by @btsqualityy (f, s) - werewolf au
Rough edges pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5, pt6, pt6.5, pt7 + scenario & drabble1 & drabble2 by @kjhmyg (f, s) 
An exercise in restraint by @ttttaehyungie (s)
I missed you by @lesgetittkookie (f, s) 
Shooting flowers by @monoguk (s)
Wine and cheese nights by @mimithings97 (f, s)
Mark me + Scent me by @guksthighs (s) - werewolf au
The view by @koyamuses (s)
Black market baked goods by @chaangbin (f, s)
On camera by @agustdiv1ne (s)
Down a peg by @btsracket (s)
2! 3! by @gimmesumsuga (f, s) - idol jk
Pretty boy by @inkedtae (s)
Rush series by @onlyswan (f, s)
xx(x)ii by @softyoongiionly (f, s)
Whatever it takes by @thotantics (a, s) - idol jk
L is for lunacy + S is for sexy by @kpopfanfictrash
Good girl series by @bonny-kookoo 
Cold coffee by @jungblue (s)
Let me drive by @wtf-yoongi (f, s)
The hand game by @solastia (s)
Historic moments by @moyochu (f) - workmates/teachers au
Anti-baby fever + Anti-romantic by @gashinabts (a, f, s)
Indulgence by @ppersonna (s)
Doubts by @jimlingss (a, s)
So close to perfect by @seok-jinnies (a)
Everything’s alright + Sweet Saturdays + Lucky charm by @guklore (f, s) 
Space by @jeonsweetheart (a, f)
Low libido jk by @hobiwonder (s)
Ways to say I love you by @btsmosphere (f)
Quarantine drabble by @bangtanfanficarchive (f)
Best laid plans +  Counter point by @whatifyoulivelikethat (s)
Pavlov by @btsarmy9593 (f)
Through the flames (and into the lava) by @winetae - dragon jk
Tomorrow (forever) by @alilbihh (f)
Take me to church by @illneverrecover (f, s) - gang au
Don’t sleep; fill the night with dreams by @holdinbacksecrets - idol jk
Blizzard: Let it snow by @curly-bangtan (f, s)
Happily by @grinnieyoongie (f)
Jungkook finds out he’s going to be a father by @bangtanfanficarchive (f)
Late supper by @secretmischief (a, f, s) - idol jk
BTS boyfriend scenarios by @holdinbacksecrets (a, f)
Hotel nights by @ikonrobert (s)
I love when you talk nurturing to me by @honeytae (f)
Ways to say I love you by @btsmosphere (f)
Every kind of way by @gukslut (s)
Why are you so late pt2 by @kimnjss (s) - idol jk
Jungkook tiddy fucking by @yoonpobs (s)
Addicted to u series by @ughcore (a, f, s) - friend/boyfriend au
Sweet apology by @unbeli-bubble (s)
Which, as they kiss, consume by @banqdanfnfic (s) - tattoo artist jk
Oops by @sparklingchim (s) - idol jk
Ness-tled in your embrace by @bangtanhome (s)
A little comfort, a long way by @pjmaparty (f)
Be with me by @moon-write (f)
Something wicked comes this way comes by @softyoongiionly (a, f, s)
Should I go play the lottery too? by @jungkooks-kookiee (f)
Sleeposal + Re:posal by @joyfulhopelox (f) - boyfriend/fiance jk
Gamer jaykay by @ughcore (s)
Again by @valorkook (f)
Tiger flower by @v-hope (a, f, s) - college au, smau
After rain by @pffbts (f)
Abundance by @xenizaation (s)
In which you come home drunk… by @onlyswan (f)
Maybe series by @jktones (f) - (hypothetical)
Guilty by @thesvnsins (s)
Center of attention by @bangtanintotheroom (s)
Selcouth by @99liners (f, s) 
Never (k)not you by @jiminrings (a, f) - college au
In which you’re Jungkook’s lip balm fairy by @onlyswan (f)
The event crasher by @artaefact (f) - kingsman jk
In which you’ve found comfort by @onlyswan (f)
Poster boy (ft. Yoongi) by @hamsterclaw (s) - hospital au
Let you go by @namfinessed (f)
Ilym by @parkdatjimin (a, f)
JK comes home from tour by @eoieopda (f)
(masterlist)
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